A list of puns related to "John 5"
In essence, Jesus is never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you.
John F. Kennedy
Left me with a John Deere Letter.
An Accord,
“For I did not speak of my own Accord.” John 12:49
But John came fifth - and won a toaster.
I swear I just thought of it, and I'm surprised I've never heard it before. Ready? Wait for iiiiiiiiiit...
John Claude Van Dang.
It's members are
Paul McCottoney, John Linen, Ringo Starch
... And George Harrison.
John Sour-Doe
John saw a tornado out the window of Frank’s house and said to Frank
“Jesus man! that’s an F5! We gotta get to cover Frank!”
Tornado rapidly approaches within 100 yards
John was looking for the cellar door and found 2 different ones
“For Fuck’s sake Frank which is the best cellar!?”
With the tornado bearing down on them, Frank sprang into action and grabbed the latest James Patterson novel.
Names such as:
Baa-bara
Wool Smith
EWE-NICE
Brittney Shears
John Sebastian Baach
• you suddenly know all the words to every Eagles song.
• you get up early on a Saturday morning to make sure you’ll be tired enough for a couch nap that afternoon.
• you change your car’s oil exactly every 2,000 miles.
• mowing the lawn is no longer a chore, but a privilege.
• you can actually tell old John Wayne movies apart.
• your idea of fun is aimlessly wandering around the home improvement section of any store.
How’s the fission, John?
"Because he's JOHN SEE NAH (No see)"
With that, John got in line and when it was his turn the Pastor asked, " John, what do you want me to pray for you?"
John replied, "Pastor, I need you to pray for help with my hearing."
The Pastor put one finger of one hand on John's ear, placed his other hand on top of John's head, and then prayed and prayed and the whole congregation joined in with much enthusiasm. After a few minutes, the Pastor removed his hands, stood back and asked: "John, how is your hearing now?"
John answered, "I don't know. My hearing is actually next Thursday in the "Magistrate Court."
"What is the second letter of the alphabet?" The teacher asked Ringo. But Ringo wasn't sure.
But because Ringo had found himself in a time of trouble, John came to him and whispered words of wisdom
"Letter B"
The Pillsbury Doughboy, remembered best as "Pop N Serve", and/or "Pop N Fresh", died yesterday of a severe yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.
Doughboy will be buried in this lightly greased coffin.
Dozens of celebrities will turn out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.
The grave site is expected to be piled high with flours.
Aunt Jemima will deliver the eulogy and lovingly describe Doughboy as "a man who never knew how much he was kneaded".
Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers.. He was considered a very smart cookie, but wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes.
Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.
Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop tart.
The funeral will be held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
John Dough
A: Did you hear about that train trip that John Lennon took?
B: No, what was the trip for?
A: To see his wife. It was a Yoko motive.
(original)
John Wilkes Tooth
Doors opened by itself, Shower turned on by itself and many other unexplained activities.
i come to the conclusion that it was John Cena
John Wick
Me: Sure, tell me one son. My Son: Did you know that Lincoln had a guard with him at the theater where he was shot, but that the guard left to go across the street to have a drink and that's why Lincoln wasn't guarded when he was shot? Me: No, son, I had no idea. My Son: But that's not all. It was the same bar that John Wilkes Booth was waiting in before going to kill the president. Me: So did they see each other? My Son: I'm not sure dad. I'm thinking Booth might have been waiting to see if he would come in before he went over to shoot Lincoln. Me: I wonder if the guard came in, and Booth ask him if he could buy him a shot?!?!? My Son: audibly smacks head
Two friends walk into a bookstore After bying 23 pens 2 balloons and a pipeline One of them goes to the till Suddenly he remembers
Hippies miss John Lennon
What did Olivia Newton John say to Santa Claus when she visited the North Pole?
"Let's get physicold."
I couldn't help but cry... She is 14 and still doesn't know my name is John.
I'm a fan of John Wicks
John Cleese and Graham Chapman were terrified for their lives, but it turned out the guy was just making Idle threats
That got the John Deere letter?
And here I thought John Cena looks more like a snacc.
Call it John Wick.
John left large shoes to Phil.
Food truck with eggs being the theme in every dish.
"The Poach Coach"
Popular dishes:
I hope it won’t be a John Dough forever.
Everybody loves John Candy.
Son: “But dad, your name is John.”
Me: “I know, but I was named AFTER Stephen Hawking.”
I was in the kitchen with John Lennon about to do the dishes and I turned to him and said:
"Right John, I've got my washing up basin, sponges, hot water, the dishes themselves of course...is that it am I ready to go? Do I need anything else?"
And John turned to me and said-
>!"All you need is glove!<
>!All you need is glove,!<
>!All you need is glove,glove!<
>!Glove is all you need"!<
that I can finally see John Cena
How’s the fission, John?
But John came fifth and won a toaster.
But John came in fifth and only got a toaster.
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