What is a Japanese person's favorite state to wake up in?

Ohio

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_heeks
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2022
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What’s the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese person?

You have to drop the bomb on them twice.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BakuGlocku
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2022
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What's the most friendly state for a Japanese person?

Ohio! (γŠγ―γ„γ‚ˆ)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StratosFTW
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2021
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According to ancient Japanese lore, the colour of a person’s aura changes when they die.

Cyan-aura.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
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What do you get when you cross a Japanese person with a rooster?

A cock Asian.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jazst
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2019
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What’s a black Japanese person’s least favorite title?

Kun

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Exalted21
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2018
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How does a Japanese person with no hands unlock their door?

Toe key, yo

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fukaisora_
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
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How does a Japanese person get from A to B?

They Haiku

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DevonX
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2017
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Dave

Dave was bragging to his boss one day,

"You know, I know everyone famous there is to know"

"Go on - Just name someone, anyone, and I bet that know them"

Tired of his boasting, his boss decides to call Dave's bluff,

"OK, Dave, how about Tom Cruise?"

"Not a problem boss"

"Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it"

So Dave and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door.

Tom Cruise is at home and answers the door himself and shouts,

"Dave! What's happening?"

"Great to see you!"

"Come on in for a beer!

Although shocked and more than a little impressed, Dave's boss is still sceptical and he tells Dave that he thinks him knowing Cruise was just pure luck.

"No, no, just name anyone else then"

Dave says.

"President Biden!"

His boss quickly retorts.

"Yup"

Dave says, "We're buddies from years ago"

"Let's fly out to Washington and I'll show you"

So they fly out to Washington and go on the Whitehouse tour"

"While walking through the White House, Biden himself appears, spots Dave on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying,

"Dave, what a surprise,it's great to see you again after all this time"

"I was just on my way to a meeting but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up"

After they leave the White House grounds the boss tells Dave that he's still not entirely convinced.

Dave again implores him to name another famous person.

After thinking about it for a long timethe boss replies with,

"The Pope!"

"Sure thing!"

Says Dave,

"I've known the Pope for years - since before he became Pope in fact"

So off they fly to Rome.

Dave and his boss are assembled with the masses in Saint Peter's Square at the Vatican.

Dave says,

"This will never work"

"I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people"

"Tell you what, I know all the Pope's guards here as well so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope."

Sure enough, half an hour later Dave emerges with the Pope on the balcony, but by the time Dave returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.

Making his way to his boss' side, Dave asks him,

"What happened?"

His boss looks up and says,

"It was the final straw"

"You and the Pope came out on the balcony and a Japanese tourist next to me said, to me... "

"Who the hell is that on the balcony with Dave?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/orcamarine
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2021
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How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/slapshotscores
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2018
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I asked my Sumo wrestler friend, β€œWould you like to have some sushi for dinner?”

He said, β€œNo thanks. I’m not a big Japanese person.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2018
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Puns of Varying Quality on the Subject of Linguistics (created in a fit of procrastinative inspiration) some of which I thought someone, someday might appreciate.

Note: Quality Very Varying (I see what I did there) and sometimes subject to specialist knowledge. So I apologise in advance. Shame me with your better puns.

While I was languishing in the Language Centre, doing some semantics antics and considering how all the other linguistics students despised and derided me, I was accosted by a stout man with large glasses who made me a preposition. It was that I should collect terrible puns, to do with linguistics, in order to ingratiate myself yet further with the other linguistics students (including even the phonetics fanatics).

I'm struggling to think of a pun to do with grammaticality that both makes sense and "Is grandma tickly?" correct. I'm also stuck on 'morphologician'. (I'm not actually sure that's a particularly logical word for the subject, though I guess that's more for, er, more for a logician to worry about.)

The problem I have with writing about phonological variation is that one is constantly forced to choose between being fun or logical - very Asian!I always get in trouble with electricians, they think I'm calling them a 'dialectician' whereas in fact I'm just saying "Die, electrician."

I like pscycholinguistics – the only department of linguistics where it’s acceptable to wear a cycle helmet. My Australian accent is terrible but I like to think my Sath Efrican one is predicate. My favourite accent is Received Pronunciation, because it is the accent chiefly used by invisible Japanese people who are ordered online. When the first recipient of an invisible Japanese person got the parcel, they wrote a complaint saying "Received but can't see Asian" and the name stuck.

Why did the speakers whose native languages weren't English, but whose only shared language was English, but they weren't very good at it and kept on having to stop to think about it, stop talking to one another? They came to an agreement. (Get it? If not, write your answer on a pastecard and paste it to the below address.)

What did the 'a' say to the 'the'? "You definitely are ticklish, 'the'!"

Why was the small man eaten by the large bear, which was proportionately bigger than him? It had, er, relative claws.

I think the reason there are so many speakers of Russian is because they all partake in an activity called "copulae shun". (Ok, ok, I know, that was Pushkin it.)

I know a man called Hillary who can, might, should, did, must, shall and will ride an ox. We call him "Ox Hillary".

I always think the verb 'to be' in the senten

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kieuk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2011
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According to ancient Japanese lore, the colour of a person’s aura changes to cyan before they die.

Cyan-aura.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
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According to ancient Japanese lore, the colour of a person’s aura changes to cyan before they die.

Cyan-aura.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
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