I like to draw lame jokes/puns an the old chalkboard in my kitchen. Thought you folks might appreciate it.
I asked a friend of mine what kind of joke was his favorite, and he said it was poop jokes.
He really does have a shitty taste
It’s hard to make dad jokes about fungi
There’s not mushroom for error
Meta: dad jokes are clean and simple. They are meant for your young children so little kids would have to be able to understand it.
That is all. Pornhub jokes? Cmon guys.
I returned my lizard to the pet shop today as it wouldn't stop telling me jokes
The store assistant said "That isn't a lizard, it is a stand-up chameleon".
It’s inappropriate to make Dad Jokes if you aren’t a father
I find it really hard to tell jokes to retired people.
What did the car say when it heard to many dad jokes?
As someone who loves dad jokes, it is with a sad heart that I report that my wife and I have decided we don't want children.
We are going to tell them at dinner tonight.
True story. I feel like it's one of those "had to been there" jokes, but my daughter thought it was hilarious and asked me to post it here.
We were doing our grocery shopping and the aisles were organized strange. One aisle had toilet paper products on one side and candy on the other side.
I said "It's kinda weird that they have toilet paper and candy on the same aisle. Makes more sense to put toilet paper and beans on the same aisle."
It’s too early for hurricane jokes.
Wait for everything to blow over first.
It’s always a big hit when I tell Christmas jokes…
Sometimes when I tell a dad joke I end up having to explain it. I'm bad at dad jokes.
It must be because I'm only an uncle.
It’s time for jokes about Autumn…
They just have to be harvested.
I’ve been posting a lot of chemistry jokes lately and they’ve gotten good reactions. I thought I was in my element and could go on forever with them but it’s time for someone else to step up and post some periodically.
I can’t zinc of any more.
What do you call it when a highly intuitive person makes awful jokes?
To all the people that want to make jokes about aquatic life, stop it now….
Leave those jokes to the pro-fish-ionals.
Due to this sub's unending debate about what equals a "Dad Joke", I have my own measure for whether or not to upvote/award... It must be more than some lame, unimaginative, "heard it 1000 times" pun. I just reviewed whether the top 10 jokes off all time from this sub meet this standard, and sadly...
When it comes to jokes about orthodontia…
You just have to brace yourself.
What do you call it when a guy who isn’t a dad makes dad jokes?
I've been working at a starch plant and I wanted to share some jokes about it
But they're all way too corny
When it comes to jokes about doctors…
Proctologists are always the butt of those jokes.
If you don't get it, you are not a Dad! (Or I'm bad at jokes.)
A man is walking outside.
"Hey, how's it going Man?"
"I'm just UNDER THE WEATHER."
Why are dad jokes even better when it is so simple?
Because it is usually given a D as a grade, but if it upgraded by two letter grades, it would acheive a B instead of a D, making it a Bad joke!!😂
Man, I sure am impressed by Colin's jokes on Whose Line Is It Anyway!
He knows how to make a Mochrie of himself!
This is a bit different from other jokes on this refit but it was my dad who told it so I think it still counts.
A panda walks into a resteraunt. He walks up to the host and the host says “what do you thing this is?” The panda takes out a dictionary and reads “Restaurant, an establishment that serves food.” The host says “fair enough” and takes the panda to a table. The panda orders his food and eats it all and gets up to leave, the host says “you need to pay for that!” The panda proceeds to pull out a gun and shoot the host. The host yells “Who do you think you are?!?” The panda looks back and says “I’m a panda look it up.” The host opens to the section that says panda and reads “Panda, a member of the bear family, native to china, Eats Shoots and Leaves.”
It’s not easy to come up with jokes about undelivered letters.
People don’t seem to get them.
[META] Dad jokes should be clean, not just groan-inducing. That's what makes it a Dad joke, we can tell it to the kids in front of Mom and not get in trouble (other than maybe for the punchline).
I got a box of dad jokes for Christmas, this was the first joke it shows:
Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me
It means a lot
I told a newborn one of these jokes and he didn't get it.
It's like he was born yesterday or something.
It sucks the best jokes here are repetitive
People really find it hard to swallow some of the jokes in this sub.
Just trying to raise awareness of joking hazard
Tomorrow is April 1st. Before being a holiday for jokes & pranks, it was once a date set aside to celebrate the sport of swimming.
My wife who always rolls her eyes at my dad jokes gave it a go... Who do you call when you hurt your toes??
It’s too late to make Suez Canal jokes now
My car tells me jokes when i open my door to get out. The best part is it understands my humor but I wish they programmed it with more than one joke...
It keeps telling me my door is a jar.
Thet said it did not belong on r/uncle jokes. What is long skinny and has a big red tip
Benedict Cumberbatch got tired of all the jokes on his name and changed it to Benedict Batch
birthing a child is nothing funny, but some still laughs on jokes about it. do you know why?
because it's not about the joke, it's the delivery.
Keep telling jokes from this forum. My daughter's getting wise to it. She just said...
"I bet you just Reddit!" She's very pleased with herself.
My wife hates it when I make jokes about her weight...
My son hates it when I make Computer jokes while talking to him. One day, he took my laptop and...
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