Dad joke Puns

They store it in dad-a-base.

Dad: The sun is out! Oh nevermind now it's gone

Me: It's just a little shy

Dad: yeah that's why they call it sunSHYne...

Sadly, no pun in ten did.

sometimes he laughs

(posted this a couple of months back and it flopped, is jt really that bad?)

Try this on for sighs.

When I was a kid, my dad used to ask me if I wanted to go to Cotton Springs. When I said yes, he would tell me to go to bed :(

This is not a traditional /r/dadjokes with a delivery and a punchline.

I just wanted all dad's, with kids around 2-6, to know that changing the name of Winnie the Pooh to Winnie the Poop will generate maniacal laughter from your kids. Especially if you combine it with singing the theme song from the movie.

As an added bonus, there is no statute of limitations on when you add the extra P. You can say: Winnie the Poop Winnie the Pooh...P Or Winnie the Pooh...... ...... .... P And your kids will laugh just as hard.

I've gone a full minute without saying the last P, while my kids hang on my every facial movement.

Enjoy

When they become apparent.

He never laughs at them

They never get old.

In the subdivision where I live there are 2 open fields with cows in each one, one of those fields is being turned into a sports complex. My friends were wondering where the cows would go and one of them suggested that they would just have all the cows in one field, to which I replied “well then it would just be overCOWded”

Thanks guys

But it was worth a shot

So this is a true story, and maybe I’ll go to hell for telling it, but I expect I’ll meet the actual perpetrator there:

At baseball practice last night, a coach asked if I’d seen the rabbit — the dead one. What? He had me look by a fence where there wasn’t a dead bunny, but HALF of one: Literally (and eerily) just the bottom half, with the top completely missing. Still shuddering over this.

Properly disposed of it and was feeling unsettled, but sprung right back to true dad form when he jokingly accused me of harming the rabbit. I told him that he knew it couldn’t have been me — I’ve never been one to split hares

What Job did Beethoven get after he died?

He decomposed.

I have a coupon tattooed on my arm that I scan every time I buy groceries. Some people give me dirty looks, but then I redeem myself.

That's karma for ya

"Son, I made you"

He tries them on for sighs.

I was driving from Tennessee to North Carolina the other day and right after I crossed over the Eastern Continental Divide, there was some road construction. A sign there said, "Fines Higher" and I thought to myself, "Huh. Probably because of the elevation."

Then I was disappointed because I was by myself and there was nobody there to tell.

He never thinks they’re funny

K-Poo.

A Faux Pa

My second son was born today at 1:05!

Joke’s on them- my dad jokes will increase exponentially with a second.

But then he died.

What they don't know is I save them all in my dadabase

Because of all the recycled material on this sub.

I told them to stand in the corner, those are usually 90°

It's a faux pa.

This may fit better in r/unclejokes but seeing how this line was from my dad, I wanted to put it here.

Me: I told a friend that I was having some trouble in the bedroom and he suggested talking to my doctor about Viagra. I don't know how that's supposed to help me put a wardrobe together.

My dad: Might actually make it harder.

When it becomes apparent.

Today, my daughter asked “Can I have a bookmark?” and I burst into tears. . .

[removed]

But it was a load of rubbish.

The Papa-razzi!

I realize this isn't a joke, but it seems the best place to ask it. Hopefully the mods will let it ride. What movie is the quintessential dad joke movie?

My vote is "Top Secret!" with Val Kilmer in the mid 80s.

I'm a faux pa.

They tend to make eyes roll.

But you have probably already read it.

We have a dad-abase full of them.

Conversation with the daughter this morning. We are needing to go out and do some clothes shopping. Asked her if she's had breakfast, she looks at me with her phone in her hand and says "No, I've got no WiFi". "So, you need WiFi to have breakfast?".

Because bad puns are how eye roll.

Tell it upstairs.

He’s made a entire career out of Christmas cracker jokes and somehow still makes me laugh.

https://youtu.be/HCn9lkazxjk

He never laughs at them

Well, that was dad on arrival.

With your mouth

In a dad-a-base

When the punchline becomes apparent.

In a dad-a-base!