I got the word “Ouch” tattooed on the back of my foot yesterday. My dad asked me if it still hurts.
I told him yes, but it’ll heel.
My 4-year-old got crumbs in his eye and started rubbing his eye. He said it didn't hurt much and I said "Oh, so it's just a little irritating?"
He said "No, it's eye-itating."
After getting badly hurt, my friend asked me not to sugar coat it
So I used stevia instead.
It hurts me to say this....
But, I have a sore throat.
A tub of margarine fell on my foot 3 weeks a go and it still hurts.....
I can't believe it's not better.
A football player goes to the doctor and says "It hurts whenever I touch my face, knee and elbow." The doctor says,
"You've broken your hand."
If you get hurt before you are 18, it’s just a minor injury.
I hurt my bottom after shaking it in the office
It was a twerk place injury
Broke a leg , it hurts so much
Had to take my friend to the hospital
What did the cat say when it got hurt?
This Hurts Just a little when you get it
Ghandi spent a lot of time walking through the desert, so his feet hurt and he was always thirsty and weak. It's also very hard to brush your teeth in the desert.
He was a super calloused fragile mystic with extra halitosis.
What did the tree say when its back hurt?
"I need better lumber support"
What starts with a CO ends with a CK and hurts when you don’t expect it?
Every time my bike hurts me, I throw it down to the ground.
I have a large pimple on my face. I keep complaining about how much it hurts, and my girlfriend keeps telling me it's because it isn't a pimple it is a cyst.
I told her "okay, if you incyst"
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
It hurts when you have expectations; that's why a woman feels pain when she's pregnant
Finally found out why it hurts to pee
What do you give a plant when its hurt
What did the sofa say when it got hurt?
This morning at breakfast, my dad looked at us very seriously and said, “It hurts me when I say this..”
..”But I have a sore throat.”
(x-post r/jokes) My wife told me that she couldn't turn her neck because it hurts so much, so I told her to look forward to a massage tonight...
...Since she can't look sideways anyways...
Man it hurts to be this hip
What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would hurt you?
Why does it hurt when you throw a gas container at someone?
My husband got me with something so groanworthy that it physically hurt.
Husband: "Are you going to finish your peas?"
Me: "No, they're mushy. Eugh. Fine. I'll eat them."
Husband: "Thank you for giving peas a chance"
Why doesn’t it hurt to get hit with a soda?
What does a cat say when it gets hurt
If You Punch Yourself and It Hurts, Are You Weak or Are You Strong?
I got ran over by a car and it really hurt
I must say that I got Tired
I told this joke once that made people laugh so hard it hurt.
In fact, it hertz so much you could rent a car from it.
My dad hurt himself cutting wood when he was younger and does't like to talk about it.
When asked, he just says "Sorry, it's Hitachi subject."
Grandpa, to doctor: It really hurts when I pee.
Doctor: Does it burn?
Grandpa: Not sure. I have never tried to set it on fire.
I was skiing on the ocean and ran into a navigational marker. Buoy did it hurt!
What does a car say when it gets hurt?
I got the word “Ouch” tattooed on the back of my foot yesterday. My son asked me if it still hurts.
I told him yes, but it’ll heel.
A tub of margarine fell on my foot three weeks ago and it still hurts.
I can’t believe it’s not better.
I hurt my bottom after shaking it in the office
It was a twerk place injury.
It hurts me to say this...
But, I have a sore throat .
What did the cat say when it hurt itself?
What's green and fuzzy and'll hurt you if it falls out of a tree?
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