Breaking news: Irish officials have reported that a passenger 747 has crashed into a Belfast cemetery. Investigators have discovered over ten thousand dead bodies at the scene. One local witness at a nearby pub claimed it was a Guinness record.

To be sure. I’ll let myself out.....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/greggy_rabs
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
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My Irish Great Grandfather (from Kerry) told me this one in the pub a few months before he passed.

You know why our dancers don't move their arms when their dancing?

Their arms have been decommissioned.

Spat ma Guinness.........

RIP Finn you funny bastard.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/seipounds
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2018
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Just what is the difference between an Irish pub and an elephant fart?

One is a bar room....

The other?

A BAROOOOOOOMMM!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stoicdadman
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2018
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Punny Hashtag for St. Patrick’s Day

Hey guys, I am tasked with designing a hashtag for out Paddy’s day. I work in an Irish pub and it’s a huge day for us. I was thinking #guinesspartystarted or #mindyouownguiness. Any awesome ideas? Thanks

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chompton23
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2019
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Another Disney dad joke

In Ragland Road (Irish pub in Downtown Disney) I spied a set of reusable corks. I called my littlest one over and asked her to put one in her mouth. When she asked why I told her it was a whine stopper.

"DAAAAAAD!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/leftcontact
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2015
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I consider myself a decent purveyor of dad jokes, but my dad showed me there is still much to learn from him

I was drinking in an Irish pub on St. Patrick's Day a few years ago when the building suffered a malfunction. The register cover of the air conditioning vent was not secured to the wall and worked its way loose, hitting me and a friend. I ended up with a cut on my forehead, a spiffy blue bandaid from the kitchen first aid kit, and a comped bar tab.

My dad told me I should have duct.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tasty_rogue
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2014
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