I was carrying my ukulele around in its case and my friend asked, "You play an instrument?"

I replied, "Yeah, I play a little guitar."

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👤︎ u/SgtDonkey
📅︎ Mar 01 2019
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I just found this subreddit, here's a couple of my favorites from dear ole' dad. I can only hope to be a blip of his greatness when I'm his age.

How do you kill a blue elephant?

  • With a blue elephant gun.

How do you kill a white elephant?

  • Choke him till he turns blue, then use a blue elephant gun.

Did you know elephants paint their toenails to hide in bags of skittles? No? Have you ever seen an elephant in a bag of skittles? NO? WELL I GUESS IT WORKS!

All the guys in highschool band would call me a girl whenever my stomach would hurt after playing an instrument too long.

  • Why'd it hurt your stomach? Minstrel Cramps.

I brought a girl over once and her name is Jessica. My father has a pretty severe case of tinnitus where he hears about 5-6 different tones at any given time. She announced her name and he thought it was Melissa for a few minutes. Eventually she corrected him.

He stared at her blankly for a moment and then asked, "Why'd you change your name Melissa? I think Melissa is a much nicer name."

Goddamnitdadwhyyoudothistome.

These are only a few. I practice very hard every day with my friends to become as punny and corny as a father should be with jokes. Someday I'll make him proud.

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📅︎ Oct 22 2013
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I was carrying my ukulele in its case at school and my friend asked, "You play an instrument?"

I replied, "Yeah, I play a little guitar."

👍︎ 517
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👤︎ u/7Aero7
📅︎ Feb 07 2017
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