Kissimmee
Only Hugh can prevent Florist Friars."
So I had to put my foot down
“Suture self.”
Emotep
Because of the rain, dear!
Iran
... cantaloupe.
“I think it’s raining,” he said to his wife.
“No, that felt more like snow to me,” she replied.
“No, I’m sure it was just rain,” he said.
Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing.
“Let’s not fight about it!” the man said. “Let’s ask our guide, Rudolph, whether it’s officially raining or snowing.”
As their tour guide approached, the man said, “Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it officially raining or snowing?”
“It’s raining, of course,” he replied officiously.
But the woman insisted, “I know that it felt like snow!”
The man quietly replied, “Rudolph, the Red, knows rain, dear!"
I can't believe it's not Buddha
I really gotta stop putting myself in Hopeless situations.
... and as you can see, they were Wright
She mustup a perfectly good snack!
Because it cantaloupe.
..."Rudolph. the Red knows rain, dear!"
I told her she would roux the day.
Reports say that it is due to it being less of a Hassle
I responded that nudists are defined by their lack of jeans
Edit: there->their
Edit 2: Awards? Wow! I'd like to thank the Academy, the community, my wife, and the man who made this post possible, my father in law!
Makes cents.
Make sure to swab the deck
As he died, he kept insisting that we “be positive”, but it’s hard without him.
I don’t know how many times I’ve told them that sound can’t travel in a vacuum. And then after they tell me I’m so annoying, I say “my name isn’t ‘so annoying’. It’s dad”.
Because he was the corps vet
I'm being gaslighted!
He just can’t part with it.
So I yelled back "Then how did your foot get in there!"
He said this over and over
Finally, baby sis turns to him and says : "what's your name again?"
"It's Josh"... He said, confused 🤔
Baby sis : "That's right. It's not Jesus!"
True story 😂
A cAntelope.
(Just made this one up at the dinner table tonight with the kids!)
I just don’t see it.
Look, sometimes you have to call a spayed a spayed.
Because it was two tired
Purely for shellfish raisins.
Second, they are exactly one thousandth of a Vanilli.
To minimise casual tees
I guess German Shepards aren't such a dangerous breed after all!
I’m too good for it, and I have a feeling that the book will lecture me.
I thought "This is going to end in tiers"
At least the kids get to see bag dad now.
It's just 3 digits and easy to remember.
I told him sorry mate you have the prawn number
Suture self
I told her she would roux the day.
Suture self 🤷♂️
Suture self.
