My mom bought nasty sparkling water drinks. My brother said it tasted like devil incarnate.

I said it tasted like devil carbonate :D

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
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What do you call a Hindu God taking birth as lightning McQueen


πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ‘€︎ u/within_kamath23
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
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What did the cowboy say when he was reborn?

What incarnation?!

πŸ‘︎ 320
πŸ‘€︎ u/zspratt
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
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What do you call a country based inside a car?

An Incarnation

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ‘€︎ u/neo_anderson_7
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2020
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Got my son on the day of his first child's birth

My granddaughter was recently born, and she is, of course, perfection incarnate. However, the night she was born, I got my son.

We had left his girlfriend's hospital room where she was in labor (14 1/2 hours!) to get some coffee. As we did so, I gave him some fatherly advice.

Me: Son, you know how everyone acts like all babies are beautiful?

Him: Yeah.

Me: Well, you and I both know that it's not true. There are some ugly babies out there. Now, I am not saying yours is going to be, I am sure she's going to be fine, but just in case...

Him: Yes?

Me: You know those signs at some bathrooms that say "Baby Changing Station"? Just stick her in there, close the lid...

Him: OMG, Dad, shut the fuck up!

Me: <literally tapdancing away>

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ‘€︎ u/daneelthesane
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2016
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What would the Southern American say if he saw the birth of Jesus?

What incarnation?!?

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ‘€︎ u/TsunamiMage999
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
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Dad-Jokes run in the family, my sister dropped this one on me today

I was driving my younger sister to one of her youth group meetings earlier today and I talked about how I had first seen a funeral procession that morning on the day to school. I started asking several rhetorical questions such as:

  • "Where was the casket? I didn't see one carried by any of the vehicles."

  • "What cemetery are they going to?"

But now here comes the gold...

"It was a long procession...I'm sure (s)he was loved." Turns toward her "Do you know what the stages of grief are? It's weird how we say the human experience is unique for everyone, but almost everyone mourns in the same way. Do you know what happens after the mourning?"

I sat there in awe after having quivered before the dad-joke incarnate in front of me when I hear in response:

"Why of course, the afternoon silly!"

Edit: I accidentally a format

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ‘€︎ u/Robertpdot
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2014
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