The big bad wolf converted to Buddhism and there was finally peace in the forest. But suddenly, the air was filled with screams of terror! A bear asked the animals running past him, "What's happening now?"

"The big bad wolf!" a goat shouted. "Is meditating!"

"So? Isn't that a good thing? questioned the bear.

"Noooo!" the goat bleated. "It's become aware wolf!"

πŸ‘︎ 378
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/808gecko808
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Two skunks were named In and Out. One day, In went missing. Even though he was deep in the forest, Out found him right away. When asked how he did it, Out replied

"In stinked"

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2021
🚨︎ report
"Hey man so I was walking trough the forest yesterday and I came across this complete freak. He was laughably tall and thin and wore a suit in the woods like a weirdo. I'm certain he's some kind of psycho stalker."

"That's slander, man."

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Slashycent
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2021
🚨︎ report
A couple was in the forest painting words on fallen trees.

They were following their counsellor’s orders to have meaningful dye-a-log.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SlickHeadSinger
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2021
🚨︎ report
A man is preparing to cut down a tree in the forest.

The tree says, "Wait! I'm a talking tree!"

The man replies, "You're going to dialogue."

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
🚨︎ report
A tree... In a forest? And no one is around?!

That's unheard of!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ryanooooo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
🚨︎ report
I was out hunting in the forest with my shotgun...

... and stumbled across a naked woman. She started flirting with me, so I asked her if she was game.

She replied yes, so I shot her.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tinnber
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
How do we know that a tree makes a sound if it falls in the forest?

Because it will dialogue.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zachpledger
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
A lumberjack went in to a magic forest to cut a tree. Upon arrival, he started to swing at the tree, when it shouted, β€œWait! I’m a talking tree!"

The lumberjack grinned and said: β€œAnd you will dialogue.”

πŸ‘︎ 847
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iknowthisischeesy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
🚨︎ report
A lumberjack was out cutting down trees in the forest one day. He went to swing his axe and the tree screamed "WAIT! I'M A TALKING TREE!!!!"

The lumberjack looked up at the tree and paused saying "well, you may be a talking tree, but I'll see that you die a log!"

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Why can't you rollerblade in a forest?

Because the floor is too sticky.

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JediWithBenefits
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear a CVS manager had to pee in the forest?

He used the toilet-trees.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/suamigojose
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it...

... then my illegal logging operation is a great success.

πŸ‘︎ 127
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/devnodegree
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2019
🚨︎ report
If you chop down a tree in the forest, but it doesn't understand why you cut it down

Do you think its stumped

πŸ‘︎ 129
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LtLama1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
🚨︎ report
In the forest, a sad lonely looking turtle begins to climb slowly up a huge tree. Half way up, it edges along a branch, sighs, then jumps. It falls smacking into the ground, bouncing and tumbling across the forest floor...

Recovering and bruised, he slowly climbs the tree again, jumps and falls to the ground.

The turtle tries again and again, while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watch his pathetic efforts.

Finally, the female bird turns to her mate, β€œDarling, don't you think it’s time to tell him he’s adopted?"

πŸ‘︎ 143
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2018
🚨︎ report
Two leprechauns are in the forest eating mushrooms and one asks the other

Having fun,Gus?

πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/brentafett
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Three clowns and the tracks in the forest

Three clowns were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks.

The first clown said, β€˜Β€ΒœThose are deer tracks.’€

The second clown said, β€˜Β€ΒœNo, those are elk tracks.’€

The third clown said, β€˜Β€ΒœYou’€™re both wrong, those are moose tracks.’€

The clowns were still arguing when the train hit them.

https://bestcleanfunnyjokes.com/three-clowns-and-the-tracks-in-the-forest/

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tfraymond
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Two peanuts were walking in the forest

One was assaulted

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yeboiLJ
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Two fruits wanted to sneak away from their parents and get married in the forest

But sadly one of them Cantaloupe

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/baconsgoodman
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
🚨︎ report
A father, wanting to instil some manliness and maturity in his sons, brings them camping. The only food they get to eat is the food they get from the forest.

The dad splits up from the boys in the morning, leaving them the task of getting food for the day.

The boys chance upon a patch full of peas - they have enough for all three meals and to pelt each other with.

Reuniting at the end of the day, the dad asks how it went.

β€œWe played with each other’s peas!” The little one chimes in.

Just a little displeased, dad asks him sternly to clarify.

β€œWe gathered peas, he meant.” Added the middle boy.

β€œOkay, and what did you have for breakfast?”

β€œPea soup.”

β€œLunch?”

β€œPea soup.”

The boys started sniggering.

β€œWhat’s so funny? And what about dinner?”

β€œNothing dad. We had pea soup too.”

β€œWell, that doesn’t seem like much. What did you do all evening?”

Bursting out laughing, they all said:

β€œPee soup.”

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/neloc1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
🚨︎ report
If an electrical engineer is working in the forest, is he a power ranger?
πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nerd866
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2018
🚨︎ report
I was called in to investigate the murder of Smokey, the forest fire fighter.

It was a grizzly scene, almost too much to bear.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BunzarTheFuzzy
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2019
🚨︎ report
If you found a tribe of women in a giant field of wheat, would it be an Amazon grain forest?
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/goodreids
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call an apple grown in an evergreen forest?

A pine apple

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jsingham
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
🚨︎ report
How do spies send secret messages in the forest?

Moss code

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gl3nnsth3man
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the scariest plant in the forest?

bamBOO!

πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/joeChump
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2017
🚨︎ report
Last night in the forest I saw a wolf wearing a cardigan.

I think it was a knitwearwolf.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
🚨︎ report
If a man falls in a forest and his wife isn’t around to hear him...

Is he still wrong?

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Naiphe
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2018
🚨︎ report
What's another name for a clearing in a forest?

Emptree space

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/YokoAhava
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2017
🚨︎ report
My dad has been camping in the forest for so long...

He can't bear it anymore.

πŸ‘︎ 62
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Psychii_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2015
🚨︎ report
What does the forest put in its house?

Fir-nature.

My 5 year old told this at dinner. Either she heard it somewhere or I need to enroll her in Comedy school. What's the verdict?

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mitks07
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2017
🚨︎ report
Two bears were walking through the forest and the bear in front was embarrassed

Because he had a bear behind

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/poiturr
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2018
🚨︎ report
My friend and I walked in a forest the other day and found a fallen tree.

I commented that the tree really branched out.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/euler00000
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2017
🚨︎ report
What happens when you're lost in a pine forest?

"I don't know, pop, what?"

You go pine nuts!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/annaftw
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2016
🚨︎ report
A lumberjack went in to a magic forest to cut a tree. Upon arrival, he started to swing at the tree, when it shouted, β€œWait! I’m a talking tree!"

The lumberjack grinned, β€œAnd you will dialogue!"

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2018
🚨︎ report
The big bad wolf converted to Buddhism and there was finally peace in the forest. But suddenly, the air was filled with screams of terror! A bear asked the animals running past him, "What's happening now?"

"The big bad wolf!" a goat shouted. "Is meditating!"

"So? Isn't that a good thing? questioned the bear.

"Noooo!" the goat bleated. "It's become aware wolf!"

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
🚨︎ report
The big bad wolf converted to Buddhism and there was finally peace in the forest. But suddenly, the air was filled with screams of terror! A bear asked the animals running past him, "What's happening now?"

"The big bad wolf!" a goat shouted. "Is meditating!"

"So? Isn't that a good thing? questioned the bear.

"Noooo!" the goat bleated. "It's become aware wolf!"

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report
A lumberjack went in to a magic forest to cut a tree.

Upon arrival he started to swing at the tree, when it shouted, "Wait, I'm a talking tree!". And the lumberjack grinned and said: "And you will dialogue."

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lez_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2018
🚨︎ report
How do spies send secret messages in the forest?

By moss code.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_mono_no_aware
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
🚨︎ report
If a tree falls in the forest and no one can hear it..

it's a gif!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/juananimez
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2018
🚨︎ report

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