The Forest Puns

Do you think it's stumped?

Dad: “Well I’m no legal expert, but I suspect there’d be some trees in there.”

because if they did the tents would be in a across fire

... and stumbled across a naked woman. She started flirting with me, so I asked her if she was game.

She replied yes, so I shot her.

Because it will dialogue.

Apparently I'm the only one that could've prevented them

The lumberjack looked up at the tree and paused saying "well, you may be a talking tree, but I'll see that you die a log!"

The tree’s bark.

He went into the woods during a deep fog and saw a figure, so he shot...

He mist.

He used the toilet-trees.

The lumberjack grinned and said: “And you will dialogue.”

“I’m stumped!”

After a few days of doing this, he realizes he is simply not fit for this type of job. On his final day of trying to chop down trees, he notices an old scrawny man chopping down trees as if he was a woodpecker, the amount of hits he made grew more and more each swing. The first swing was one hit, the next, ten hits, the next one, a hundred hits, and the next one after that, a thousand. He kept swinging until the tree he was swinging at was chopped down. Amazed, the young man walks over to the old man and asks, "Sir, what is your secret, how do you chop them down so quickly?"

The old man turns and says, "It's all about the rhythm." Puzzled by the old man's answer, the young man returned home pondering what he said.

The next morning, he was motivated to keep trying to be a lumberjack. "If an old scrawny man can do it, so can I!" he thought.

So he went back to the forest, and tried to use his advice. Trying to time each swing, he realizes this simply doesn't work. Later in the day, he sees the old man again, comes up to him, and asks, "I tried to time my swings, but it does no more than just chopping normally. How do you do it?"

"You can't just make up any old rhythm and follow it, you have to find a very specific one," he says, "you have to find the Logger-rhythm."

The lumberjack responded, “And you will dialogue.”

"The big bad wolf!" a goat shouted. "Is meditating!"

"So? Isn't that a good thing? questioned the bear.

"Noooo!" the goat bleated. "It's become aware wolf!"

Treeson

... then my illegal logging operation is a great success.

They were having a treesome

Because they’re so sticky

They take the psycho-path

Three clowns were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks.

The first clown said, ‘€œThose are deer tracks.’€

The second clown said, ‘€œNo, those are elk tracks.’€

The third clown said, ‘€œYou’€™re both wrong, those are moose tracks.’€

The clowns were still arguing when the train hit them.

https://bestcleanfunnyjokes.com/three-clowns-and-the-tracks-in-the-forest/

One was assaulted

But sadly one of them Cantaloupe

Well, now I know. Nature abhors a vacuum.

Recovering and bruised, he slowly climbs the tree again, jumps and falls to the ground.

The turtle tries again and again, while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watch his pathetic efforts.

Finally, the female bird turns to her mate, “Darling, don't you think it’s time to tell him he’s adopted?"

Having fun,Gus?

The dad splits up from the boys in the morning, leaving them the task of getting food for the day.

The boys chance upon a patch full of peas - they have enough for all three meals and to pelt each other with.

Reuniting at the end of the day, the dad asks how it went.

“We played with each other’s peas!” The little one chimes in.

Just a little displeased, dad asks him sternly to clarify.

“We gathered peas, he meant.” Added the middle boy.

“Okay, and what did you have for breakfast?”

“Pea soup.”

“Lunch?”

“Pea soup.”

The boys started sniggering.

“What’s so funny? And what about dinner?”

“Nothing dad. We had pea soup too.”

“Well, that doesn’t seem like much. What did you do all evening?”

Bursting out laughing, they all said:

“Pee soup.”

They take the psychopaths.

This gave me a needed chuckle. Found it here: https://entertainyourtoddler.com/best-jokes-for-kids/

It seemed pretty stumped as to what I was doing.

It was a grizzly scene, almost too much to bear.

Because he was trees-passing.

SepTIIIIMBBBEEEER

The lumberjack grinned, “And you will dialogue!"

Do you think its stumped

After a few days of doing this, he realizes he is simply not fit for this type of job. On his final day of trying to chop down trees, he notices an old scrawny man chopping down trees as if he was a woodpecker, the amount of hits he made grew more and more each swing. The first swing was one hit, the next, ten hits, the next one, a hundred hits, and the next one after that, a thousand. He kept swinging until the tree he was swinging at was chopped down. Amazed, the young man walks over to the old man and asks, "Sir, what is your secret, how do you chop them down so quickly?"

The old man turns and says, "It's all about the rhythm." Puzzled by the old man's answer, the young man returned home pondering what he said.

The next morning, he was motivated to keep trying to be a lumberjack. "If an old scrawny man can do it, so can I!" he thought.

So he went back to the forest, and tried to use his advice. Trying to time each swing, he realizes this simply doesn't work. Later in the day, he sees the old man again, comes up to him, and asks, "I tried to time my swings, but it does no more than just chopping normally. How do you do it?"

"You can't just make up any old rhythm and follow it, you have to find a very specific one," he says, "you have to find the Logger-rhythm."

"The big bad wolf!" a goat shouted. "Is meditating!"

"So? Isn't that a good thing? questioned the bear.

"Noooo!" the goat bleated. "It's become aware wolf!"

do you think it's stumped?

They take the psycho path!