It's a ni-jerk reaction
Thank you. You flatter me.
Wife: No: you are not
There's just a small margarine of error.
Toucans.
Parrotcetamol
I mean, they're just sort of eary
I doubt this is funny to read, but feel free to tell it and see how it works.
Report back any substantial laughs if you do, OK?
Well, it's only a brototype.
(This joke literally came to me in a dream, I woke up and wrote it down asap. Not sure if it already exists. )
A Satisfactory
...although I find most people take it for granite
Now I want my Nickelback.
It's a perfect em-mule-ation.
... that I decided to put my foot down.
They're both the highest form of flattery!
Good thing he set the bar so high.
A pale imitation! (ba-dum tss)
They’re both the highest forms of flattery
From my friend
I trained a bird to sit on my shoulder and imitate my voice. Went to the bar to make my millions but, was denied.
The bird was a myna.
Because it sounded like a "Caw Caw Phony".
"What can you do?" Asks the Ringleader
"I can imitate a bird" the man replies.
"Ppfff that's nothing" says the Ringleader "Anyone can imitate a bird! get outta here and stop wasting my time!"
The man doesn't argue. He simply gets up and flies out the window.
.. but he was a pale imitation of the real thing.
I learned this from an old girlfriend's dad when he did it to her little sister.
Dad: Puts his hand on top of kid's head and squeezes to imitate a rhythmic suction. Then he says "You know what this is?"
Kid: "No what?"
Dad: "It's a brain sucker, you know what it's doing?"
Kid: "Sucking my brain."
Dad: "Nope! It's starving!"
This one gets me every time!
The other day I told them I was going to do an imitation of Batman, so I started off with:
"Argh… kryptonite, getting weaker…"
"THAT'S SUPERMAN!" a student in the back row yelled
"Thanks man, I've been practicing a lot", I replied.
An imitator
Every once in a while I buy the wrong kind of imitation butter at the grocery store. It’s ok though. It’s still within my margarine of error
48% of Americans chose real butter, whilst the other 51% opted for a substitute.
The study concluded that imitations are only margarineally butter.
By imitating the sound of a carrot 🥕
It was a pail imitation!
"So you're the new imitate, huh?" "Don't you mean inmate?" "Wah, wah, don't you mean inmate wah wah"
Dad told me this one:
A German teacher was having one of his students imitate various objects. He would say car and he would say "vrooom" or sink and he would say "Fsssss" then finally he asks him to imitate a clock and so the student says "tic, tic, tic, tic." And his teachers face moves to an eerie smile and he says, "We have ways of making you toc."
My wife gave birth yesterday. As we were settling into the recovery room, the nurse came in and the baby started to cry. She tried to console him and said to us:
Nurse: He's really just yelling at you saying "Do you know what I've been through today?!"
Me (imitating my wife): Yeah, me!
She was too tired to groan, but I think I'm gonna like this.
I had to put my foot down.
