I was going on an illegal half marathon yesterday and the cops caught me.
Did you hear about the woman who was charged with illegally culling trees?
She was arrested by The Special Branch.
What’s the difference between illegal and unlawful?
One’s against the law and the other is a sick bird.
I went shopping at Coles to buy Mayonnaise, but they said it was illegal to buy without cabbage and carrots.
Did you hear the Trump administration is thinking about making it illegal to sell pre-shredded cheese?
Apparently they want to make America grate again.
This is dope. (Yes, weed is illegal in India)
Did you know in some places it's illegal to disrupt a choir?
Yep, it's against the la.
"If organ trafficking is illegal...."
"Then what about pianos?"
-my dad
What drug is illegal under the sea?
Pirate gets his ears pierced. How much did it cost.
Cop: I’m arresting you for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia.
Man: Wait. I can explain everything!
What happens when a frog parks illegally?
i don't download films illegally because i am honest and hardworking person.
What do you call an illegally parked frog?
The school made the use of "bullet points" illegal because it incited violence in the classroom, and I must admit I couldn't have cared less. That's all changed now, though.
The bus driver isn't allowed to drive my kids anymore because we live on a dead end street.
I got a parking ticket for being parked illegally the other day and I’ve no idea why. I mean...
The sign clearly said, “Fine for parking”.
Where do mice get their illegal alcohol?
You know those big round bales of hay? they are illegal in Wyoming...
Yeah, It turns out that the animals weren't getting a square meal.
Did you hear about the bag of sugar that was caught illegally crossing the road for the second time that day?
Why was the Boston Tea Party illegal?
It was destruction of Private Proper Tea!
There was a fire in the illegal weed farm which trapped some cows.
The steaks have never been higher.
Not many people know this, but Boy George had a taste for exotic and somewhat illegal Indian cuisine...
His favourite was the Korma Chameleon.
What do you call illegal, fermented milk?
Drawing on yourself should be illegal
The minute you do, you’re a marked man
My daughter, 8, asked me what happens to frogs who illegally park their cars.
"I don't know," I said.
With a gleam in her eye, she squealed "They get toad!!"
Dad win there.
My dream of becoming the first professional boxer/pirate were crushed....
The boxing commission said my right hook was illegal.
If you’re thinking about doing something illegal oil yourself up first.
That way you’re a smooth criminal.
Why can't ants fund illegal activities ?
They have Anti Money Laundering
Watching out for illegal refills
Prosecutor: "In the case of who illegally made a blanket out of patches,
we call the defendant quilty"
What do you call a sick eagle?
All countries got Coronavirus...
I'm scared the cops are gonna discover I've been using my cattle farm to illegally grow marijuana
The steaks have never been higher
If I could have any superpower, I would choose invisibility. But I wouldn't use it to do anything ILLEGAL...
I once tried to drive my Toyota Corolla with a stick shift on the Autobahn, but German authorities flagged me down and informed me that was illegal...
So I drove down the manualbahn instead.
There's probably a 104-year-old somewhere playing with LEGO illegally.
‘I’m arresting you for illegally downloading Wikipedia!’
‘Wait! I can explain everything!’
What do you call an illegally parked frog?
Cop: I’m arresting you for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia!
Man: Wait, I can explain everything!
What do you call an illegally parked frog?
What happens when frogs park illegally
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Cop: I’m arresting you for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia!
Me: Wait, I can explain everything!
What is the difference between illegal and unlawful?
One is against the law and the other is a sick bird.
What happened to frog who parked illegally?
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