Hermits Puns

A list of puns related to "Hermits"

There was an old hermit who lived in a cave and walked a lot, but didn't have shoes. He also didn't have the greatest health and had really bad breath. They called him the:

Super Calloused Fragile Mystic Plagued with Halitosis.

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👤︎ u/l8rry394
📅︎ Jul 20 2020
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What would a hermit crab want with a smartphone?

It takes a lot of shellfies

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👤︎ u/exaball
📅︎ Jun 10 2020
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Does anyone have a hermit crab named

Leonardo da Pinchi

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👤︎ u/CountZachkula
📅︎ Feb 26 2020
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Just got my pet hermit crab a new home

He named it Michelle

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👤︎ u/BinaryPeach
📅︎ Dec 26 2019
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Hermit crabs’ house phones were always shell phones
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👤︎ u/ctrlaltdelmarva
📅︎ Aug 24 2019
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Did you hear about the psychic hermit crab?

Makes shell-fulfilling prophecies.

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👤︎ u/Torley_
📅︎ Feb 15 2019
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What do you call an angry hermit?

A crab!

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👤︎ u/pharm_panda
📅︎ Feb 04 2019
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Overheard on a bus... What do you call a social hermit crab?

Just a crab.

Background: this young girl just bought a hermit crab and had a tank. This guy with his wife and kids told her it was the most active hermit crab he's ever seen, then laid this line on her. His wife rolled her eyes, but he seemed super proud.

I was the only one to laugh at this joke. My wife also rolled her eyes.

Dads unite.

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👤︎ u/undefined_reference
📅︎ Jul 15 2018
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Why don't the baby squid like to play with the baby hermit crab?

They think he's shellfish

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👤︎ u/LowLevelBagman
📅︎ Apr 19 2018
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What kind of helmet does a hermit crab wear?

A shell-met!

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👤︎ u/Chezni19
📅︎ Sep 18 2016
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Why did the germaphobe go away to live by himself?

He wanted to be hermitically sealed.

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👤︎ u/TopGovtOfficial
📅︎ Sep 12 2020
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Where does a bee use the bathroom?

BP

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👤︎ u/ShakaZuluYourMom
📅︎ Apr 05 2020
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Dad joked my date tonight.

Her: One of my friends sleeps all the time, if he's not working he's sleeping. I always tell him, get out there and live your life.

Me: I guess he's living his dreams.

She laughed hysterically, I think she's a keeper.

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👤︎ u/Ellie-okay
📅︎ May 03 2014
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