Herb puns
Today my chef asked me to grab her some spices. I yelled from outside " I'm cumin, just give me some thyme "
I heard herb gardens grow better with classic rock in the background, so I played a Styx album on repeat.
Now I've got Too Much Thyme on My Hands.
My wife just complained that I've been in the garden all day tending to the herbs.
Apparently I have way too much thyme on my hands.
My wife tested my knowledge of common household herbs, and I’m happy to say I got 4 out of 5 right.
I made a steak with herbs
But it was a waste of thyme
I'm trying to make herb roasted chicken for dinner and just ran out of one of the ingredients...
I don't have thyme for this
What did Ronald Reagan’s wife say when he asked her if she wanted a new herb garden?
I told my wife I’m going to arrange the herbs in alphabetical order from now on.
She said, “Where would you find the time?”
I said, “Easy. Right next to the sage.”
My best friend is allergic to certain herbs.
I'm afraid it's just a matter of thyme...
I just got a letter from a herb and spice company demanding the $100 I owe them.
If I don't pay them within a week, they have threatened to send the bay leafs around.
My wife just threw away my favourite herb.
She's such a Thyme waster
A friend of mine just died from eating too many herbs
What's a postmans favourite herb?
When do you add herbs to your dish?
What do you call the King of herbs?
She handed me a jar and said, "This herb goes well with pork, beef, duck and chicken recipes, and fatty meats in particular."
I looked at the label and thought, "That is some sage advice."
I was at my parents house over the weekend. As a joke, I swapped all the labels around on their herbs and spices.
They haven’t noticed yet... but the thyme is cumin.
What did the herb farmer say when he was running behind schedule?
Whenever I cook, I'm always left with excess herbs.
Guess I just have great Thyme management.
I served a female deer with herbs to my family at a recent dinner party.
Calling it "Spit-Roasted Dill Doe" was maybe a little unwise
After many years of procrastination I have finally finished my book on common herbs...
Why did the kid rub herbs on his scraped knee?
Because his Dad told him thyme heals all wounds.
After many years of designing, the government has released a new type of currency made out of herbs.
They spent a lot of thyme on it, but now it's mint.
My friend Herb was kidnapped!
I just received a ransom call from a unrecognized number asking if I want to get Herb alive
the other night, my dad taught me his famous stew recipe. it went great, the only issue we had was with the herbs i wanted to use. he told me “you’re wrong about the parsley...
but that’s okay because you’re right on thyme”
My brother and I were just reminiscing about the herb garden our family had when we were kids.
I tried to make a belt out of Italian herbs, but it didn’t work
It was just a waist of thyme
What do you call moving herbs?
My fresh herbs will go bad soon
I want to make pesto but I’m running out of thyme.
I'm so damn tired of these daily repetitive boring Herb jokes. Honestly..
I want to share some information on cultivating herbs.
Anyone else noticing a recent influx of herb related jokes?
It is that thyme of year, I suppose.
Whst did the herb gardener say to the sloppy chef?
Please, don't waste my thyme!
A friend suggested I added herbs to my soup.
I poisoned my enemies herbs.
Guess it was his thyme to go.
I asked a friend to help me weed my herb garden today.
He declined, well, it was probably the wrong thyme.
UPS says my book on evergreen herbs from the mint family lamiaceae is going to be delivered tomorrow by end of day.
My dad invented a belt made of herbs that takes you 5 minutes into the future.
It took 6 minutes to put on. It was a waist of thyme
I wanted to plant every herb in my garden.
But I just don't have the thyme.
I didn’t pay attention to what herb I bought
Turns out it was a big dill. I’m allergic.
I accidentally killed off my herb garden twice. As I replanted it yet again I thought to myself...
"Third thyme's a charm."
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Based on a true story. Wife's eyeroll suggested this 100% belonged here.
I'd like to experiment with more herbs and spices
But I just haven't got thyme
I told my wife I was going to arrange the herbs in alphabetical order. She said "Where would you find the time ?"
I said, "Easy, right next to the sage"
I was just reminiscing about the beautiful herb garden I had when I was growing up
My Dad grows herbs as a hobby.
He has way too much Thyme on his hands.
I told my wife, “I’m going to arrange the herbs in alphabetical order from now on.”
She said, “Where would you find the time?”
I said, “That should be easy. Next to the sage.”
I finally finished my book on herbs.
Some might say it’s about thyme.
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