Hedge fund
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheGreatChromeGod
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
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All this drama with hedge funds has me wondering?

Are they the same thing as my landscaping budget?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Carpe__Cerevisi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
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Lately I’ve been storing all my extra change in some bushes outside.

I’m starting my own hedge fund.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
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I gave some dude the money I'd saved to to buy bushes to line my property. I'd introduce you, but

my hedge fund manager hates reddit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zensunni82
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
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I'm raising money for a new row of shrubs by selling stock...

Would you like a few shares of my hedge fund?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
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I’ve been setting aside money to buy some boxwood shrubs.

It’s my hedge fund.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bobs_clam_rodeo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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I created a bank account dedicated entirely to buying and maintaining bushes

I call it my hedge fund

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SkippyDingleCha1k
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
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We couldn't find our checkbook to pay the gardener

So we payed him in hedge funds

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2019
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What sort of money do need if you want to start your own landscaping business?

A hedge fund.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TOHSNBN
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2017
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What do you call someone who invests in marijuana stocks?

A HEDGE FUND MANAGER

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πŸ‘€︎ u/steboy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2018
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The stock trader was able to afford his new landscaping...

...after making so much money in his hedge fund.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bbbbirdistheword
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2014
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If you chuck money into a bush...

...it's called a hedge fund.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheVeganManatee
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2017
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Hedge Trimming

This morning my father was trimming the hedge in the front yard as I mowed the lawns. He called me over, it sounded important.

Dad: "If I were to pay someone to practice hegemony* on this hedge, because I don't want to do it myself, where would they put the funds?" Me: "Hedge fund. Good one."

  • I don't think he actually knows what that word means.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sydonai
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2014
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Shrubs

What do you call a savings account for obtaining more bushes?

A Hedge Fund!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedstoneRelic
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2019
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I'm saving money for new shrubs out front

I call it my hedge fund

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElLibroGrande
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2015
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