And my 10 year old son, completely deadpan, tells me
‘Dad, I knew that story wasn’t real because you don’t have any friends’
👻👻💀💀☠️☠️ It took me a solid 5 minutes to stop laughing.
I have achieved Dad level 10 at raising my kids
What's even better, she thinks I'm being punished.
A trophy.
He was Biden his time.
he's essentially a big banner.
Edit: credits to u/mindswag and idk if that was done before :)
..6 months, 15 days, 9 hours, and coming up to 12 minutes..now
Without all those tourists helping hold it up.
I am tired of her shit.
I guess he’s in a Tacoma
He says it's not his real ladder.
After all they are the Master of Puppets.
Once upon a time there was a pirate captain who was the most amazing best captain a crew could ever ask for. His crew loved him more than anything and would do absolutely anything for him.
One day as they were sailing, a crew member In the crows nest shouts, “one ship off the port side!” Immediately the captain yells at his crew, “Men! Bring me my red shirt!”
Slightly confused, the men hesitate for a second and then hurry off to bring the captain his red shirt. Amazingly they win the battle!
The men are so happy and thankful their captain brought them safely through the battle they don’t even care why the captain wanted his red shirt.
A few months of sailing some more, again the man in the crows nest yells, “Two ships off the port side!” Quickly the captain screams, “Men! Bring me my red shirt!” The crew doesn’t hesitate this time to get him his red shirt and what do you know? They win this battle too!!
The crew is astounded at their captains awesomeness!!! They honestly could not find anyone better. This time though the crew stops a moment and asks the captain, “Why do you always have us bring you your red shirt?”
The captain replies, “Well men, if I get stabbed the blood will blend into my red shirt and it will look like I’m not hurt so that you will all fight as hard as if I were still alive.”
The men can’t believe what they hear! How could they be so lucky as to have a captain so incredibly smart and courageous??!!
Two seconds later, “TWENTY SEVEN SHIPS OFF THE PORT SIDE!!!!!!!”
Calmly, with an even tone, the captain says, “Men, bring me my brown pants.”
I’m starting to think that he doesn’t want to make a rash decision.
Because long time no C.
It's officially her first relationsheep.
I told her it doesn't taste quite right.
Because it’s 6to9.
But it’s definitely up there.
Forseer: "how else?"
It’s probably stuck in the mail.
Now it’s just some bunny I used to know.
It doesnt matter.
All I have now is a Nico-less cage.
and you haven't seen it either.
... She's recovering from a massive Stroke.
All that time and nothing to chauffeur it…
But I know my thyme is cumin
Instead they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
He's in a cent.
I mean he's essentially a giant banner
A trophy.
A trophy
....I mean, he is essentially a giant banner.
All that time and nothing to chauffeur it.
He's basically a giant banner.
A trophy
