They eat pain for breakfast.
But I think it's pretty metal.
The life of a fan must really blow.
I work at the local movie theater, and I was selling tickets when:
Dad: How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Me: ...? Dad: Tentacles! Har har har!
He worked it out with a calculator.
They fired me after taking a day off
Moved into a new apartment complex, me and a dude named Cole hit it off really hard. He is very obviously a HARDCORE stoner... I wanna stop calling him Cole and start calling him something that puns off his name Cole. Any suggestions??
One could say I'm a hardcore parker.
She is REALLY into sharks right now, and the other day she said "Daddy, I sure am glad I'm a girl." I asked why. She said "because sharks are man-eaters." Love that girl!
I've been hardcore PMSing lately, so I made brownies. I messed up the recipe somehow so, rationally, I started crying because I really wanted homemade brownies.
He walks in, hugs me, and says babe, it's okay. You're ovary-acting.
Hardcore.
My dad said he saw someone running and jumping over benches and trash cans while he was at the golf course today. My mom responded "some kind of hardcore parkour?"
His reply "no it was par-four parkour"
/face palm
They eat pain for breakfast.
They eat pain for breakfast
