What sort of flowers grow on your face?

Tulips..

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👤︎ u/MrRedneck
📅︎ Jun 09 2018
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What do you call a firefighter who grows flowers?

Whatever their name happens to be.

👍︎ 5
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📅︎ Nov 12 2017
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Why did the potato grow a flower?

He wanted something pretty to give his best spud.

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👤︎ u/Soul_Knife
📅︎ Jul 15 2017
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Whats the only flower that grows on a face?

Tulips

👍︎ 7
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📅︎ Oct 21 2016
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Told the wife they are growing flowers on the ISS.

She exclaimed WTF ,How can they even?

MY son blurts out"cause they are skyentists".

👍︎ 4
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📅︎ Jan 13 2019
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Did you know that commas can change the meaning of a sentence.

For example

Ben is in a hurry

vs

Ben is in a comma

👍︎ 312
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📅︎ Feb 11 2019
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The Legend of Zorro and the Bacon Tree

So this is a bit long, sorry about that.

Zorro and his best bud the Lone Ranger were riding through the desert one day, I forget where they were heading to or where they had come from, but we can safely assume shenanigans of some kind were the driving force.

They have been travelling for most of the day and are starting to get tired. There has been a discussion about making camp for the night, but as things are they have agreed to continue riding for a while longer, till the sun starts to set. Away and off to the west the Lone Ranger spies a plant that seems to have large pink flowers that hang in strips with white stripes running the length of them.

"Zorro, what's that over there?" he asks.

Zorro turns in his saddle and raises his hand to shield his eyes from the sun. "Ah, it looks like a bacon tree, quite common in these parts. Let's ride on, there is a good place an hour from now to set up camp."

The two friends ride on and as the sun is beginning to descend the have stopped and are making camp. As Zorro begins to make a fire he says to the Lone Ranger, "You know, I quite fancy some pork. You ride back to that bacon tree and get some for supper, and I'll finish setting up camp here."

"No problem Zorro, I won't be long" replies the Ranger, jumping back into the saddle and returning the way they came.

Time passes, and the sun begins to get low in the sky. 'Odd', thinks Zorro 'he should be back by now.' Another hour passes and the shadows are growing longer. 'I might have to go investigate, it's not like him to take his time.' More time passes, and, just as Zorro has decided that he must go search for his friend in the dwindling light, he hears the sound of Silver's hooves. Looking into the gathering gloom he sees his friend riding towards him. As the Lone Ranger nears Zorro can see the Lone Ranger is injured, there are cuts and bruises and he has an arrow through his hat.

"What on earth happened, Lone Ranger? Did you make it to the Bacon tree?"

The Lone Ranger dismounts and sighs heavily.

"That weren't no Bacon tree, Zorro. That was an Hambush."

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📅︎ May 29 2019
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