Some days I wake up grouchy

Most days I let her sleep.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PensionNo8124
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2021
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My girlfriend usually has peanut butter toast for breakfast, but this morning we were out of bread, and she’s been grouchy all day.

I never knew she was lack-toast intolerant.

πŸ‘︎ 269
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
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Anyone know where we can find a psychic who isn’t grouchy?

We need to arrive at a happy medium.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/intrepid604
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2018
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I made up a real groaner today, so of course I had to tell my son.

One day at a US immigration office, a man walked in seeking citizenship. The desk clerk began the usual questioning: "name, occupation, country of origin"? The man replied, " Juan Martinez, illusionist, Mexico".

During the process Juan made small talk and displayed his talent as an illusionist. The clerk found him to be a charming, funny, and charismatic man, which put the normally grouchy clerk in a great mood!

The clerk was so enamored by Juan, he let him skip the formalities and allowed him straight into the US.

After Juan left, a coworker asked the clerk why he would allow a man to just walk in to the US. To which the clerk responded...

"For once in my long career working in immigration, I was truly amazed and entertained by a potential citizen, so I decided to waive a magic Juan"!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/churnplunger
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2015
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