It's like monkin kameha meha or some shit
They found it hiding in the corner of the back room of the counting house: A two-foot high goblin with an oversized head and a set of eyes that rolled every which way but never seemed to want to face forward.
"What the heck is that?" said Erin, the Knight.
"BWURP!" said the goblin.
"That's Hop, the Dark Lord's court jester," said head mage Lin, leafing through her field notes. "He's been serving different Dark Lords for one thousand years."
"One thousand!" Erin drew his sword. "He must be immensely powerful!"
"He sure doesn't look it," said Miu, the thief, as she lazily poked Hop's pointed cheek with a cat-paw glove.
"Don't touch him!" Erin roared. "It could be a trap!"
"BREEEEEEEP!" said the goblin.
"Let me get a read on his stats before we do anything hasty," said Angela, the party's cleric. She closed her eyes, tapped an elegant finger to the blue jewel on her forehead, and made a low humming noise in the back of her throat. Suddenly her eyes flew open and she gasped.
"What? What is it?" yelled Erin.
"The goblin, it... he...!"
"Yes?"
"He's only at level two!"
The empty silence that followed was broken moments later by the sound of a goblin fart.
"Are you telling me we've been risking our lives fighting a fool? What kind of Dark Lord sends a level two goblin to guard his storehouses!?" Erin threw his helmet at the ground. It bounced and rolled into a corner. Hop made a series of happy squeaks before dashing after it with his arms outstretched.
"Eh, who cares?" asked Miu. "Easy pickings is what I say. It's like literally taking candy from a baby."
"BWUP!" said Hop from his nest inside of Erin's discarded helmet.
"Poor thing," Angela said, walking over to the tiny goblin. "Perhaps what he needs is not another Dark Lord, but the loving touch of a band of Heroes."
"Oh no," said Miu. "The Bleeding Heart is flowing freely once again."
"Angela, you can't bring home every animal you see," said Lin. "It could be dangerous."
"No more dangerous than fighting a Dark Lord," said Angela. She scooped up the little goblin in her arms, which squirmed and babbled like an infant. The team's Cleric smiled. "So grumpy. I would be too, after having to serve so much evil."
"If we're bringing that thing with us, we may as well boost its stats," said Miu, digging around in her rucksack. "Here, give him some Lv+ Elixir. That'll bump him up to level ten at least."
"Good thinking, Miu," said Lin. "At level two he probably can't even slay a common rat."
"D
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