Gawd Puns

And it was probably one of the worst things about prison.

" "Pop," goes the weasel.

1. Huh Oklahoma seems like an OK move for him.
2. Aw man I hate Oklahoma never thought he would Stoopsolow.
3. Well I guess the news was going to come out Sooner or later.
4. Not surprising I heard multiple reports Lincoln him to the Big 12.
5. I bet Oklahoma fans are Riley happy today.
6. (The obvious one) this move really Hirts Alabama’s title chances this year.

Ohm my gawd, it's fascinating!

A Christ-ler.

A young boy went up to his father and asked him, 'Dad, what is the difference between potentially and realistically?' The father thought for a moment, then answered, 'Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a Million dollars, and then ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that.' So the boy went to his mother and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?' The mother replied, 'Of course I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great University!' The boy then went to his sister and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?' The girl replied, 'Oh my Gawd! I LOVE Brad Pitt - I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?' The boy then went to his brother and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?' 'Of course,' the brother replied. 'Do you know what a million Bucks would buy?' The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad. His father asked him, 'Did you find out the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?' The boy replied, 'Yes, 'Potentially', you and I are sitting on Three million dollars . But 'realistically', we're just living with two hookers and a queer.

They said it had a loco-motive.

During a football talk, I'm a Redskins fan, but died nonetheless.

Me: RG3 is a really stand up guy

Him: He may be a stand up guy, but lately he's been a sit down player.

(For those who don't follow the NFL, he's a Quarterback who got injured again)

I took my 3D glasses off and said in a loud voice, "Oh my gawd. I still see 3D." Another viewer told he appreciated the joke.