"Bargain" the man says.
"Thanks" the woman replies. "That means a great deal."
Mourning.
"Who's thinking outside the box now Gary?"
“Mourning Wood”
She said go ahead.
I stood up said “plethora” and sat back down.
“Thank you”, the grieving widow responded, “it means a lot”
Thots and prayers
It was a lovely service...
Unbereavable...
A woman is at her husband’s funeral, and asks some friends of her late husband up to the podium to say some things honouring him.
Man 1 walks up to the podium, and says one word: “Plethora.” He steps down and walks by the widow, who says: “Thanks; that means a lot.”
Man 2 now goes up to the podium, and says “Bargain.” Then, as he leaves the podium and walks by the widow, she whispers to him: “Thanks; that means a great deal.”
The host asks the guest, "Would you like to say a word?" The guest than goes up than says, "Bargain" The host starts crying and says, "That means a great deal."
The man sitting next to her asks, "Do you mind if I say a word?" "Absolutely", she responds. So the man walks up to the podium and clears his throat. "Plethora" he says. Then he comes and sits back down. "Thank you", the woman says. "That means a lot."
Of corpse, please come to a dead stop.
There wasn’t a dry face in the house.
Who is thinking outside the box now?
Credits to Twitter @Dadsaysjokes
Mourn flakes
A Huge Grant
I replied, Perhaps mourning would...
Nothing.
There wasn't a dry scalp in the place!
He was sent to a watery grave.
Me: Thats very sad. Venice the funeral?
(Please excuse my poor english as it is not my first language)
Edit: I am not a dad, I am a 15 year old teen
Edit 2: Thank you u/Mnt2bdaddy for the wholesome award.
No? Shame, it was real fun.
People would be dying to get in.
Jeez, can’t a guy have mourning wood?
"May I say a word?"
Sniffling, the widow agrees. The old man clears his throat, "Plethora"
"The widow smiles. "Thanks, that means a lot."
I'm really not a mourning person.
It's known as mourning wood
This old bloke I know just passed away. He was well known in the community for his wood turning - bowls, furniture - you name it, he did it. So for the funeral, they decided to bury his prized lathe right there next to him.
It's a nice gesture - but I know he'd be turning in his grave if he knew.
I am not a mourning person
Don’t know where, don’t know when
The funeral director asked, “Can I say a quick word?” “Sure,” replied the widow. “Thank you,” the funeral director responded, “Plethora” “Thanks, means a lot” replied the widow
It watched the news and became convinced it had contracted the coronavirus from it's intended inhabitant, a Chinese woman from Wuhan who had died of the disease.
The casket went to the emergency room at the nearest hospital.
After overcoming her initial shock at diagnosing a casket, the ER doctor ran a blood test and determined the casket definitely did not have the coronavirus.
"But I feel like I'm dying doctor, and I only just came to life. If it isn't the coronavirus what is it?" worriedly asked the casket.
"I'm not sure," answered the doctor, "we'll have to run some more tests."
"But my fever, the pain in my lungs...what could it be? Doctor if you had to give me your best diagnosis right now without the tests, what do you think could be causing these terrible respiratory symptoms?"
The doctor thought for a moment then answered, "SARS cough I guess."
"Knock, Knock" jokes don't go down as well at funerals.
“Open casket or closed” asked the Funeral Director.
“Yes” replied Schrödinger’s Widow.
His funeral will be held at 350 for about 20 minutes.
Who's thinking out of box now Kevin?
I said, plethora. The deceased’s family said, thanks, that means a lot.
A man leans toward her and asks, "Do you mind if I say a word?" "No, go ahead," replies the woman. The man stands, clears his throat, and says, "Plethora," then sits back down. "Thanks," says the woman, "that means a lot."
“Sure,” she replies. “Plethora,” the guys says. The widow says, “Thanks. That means a lot.”
