I just couldn't deal with it.
That’s right, the steaks were pretty high.
They are afraid of the stakes
Too many cheetahs >.>
They always fold!
He never lost since he could take a royal flush any time he liked.
I thought to myself, "I can't turn that down!"
I know he means well.
Edit: Wow. Thanks for the awards, kind Reddit strangers!
A bluffalo
Because they always call the flop.
Cause they can't keep a straight face.
Gonna call it Scarf-Ace
It sounds really stew-pit but it's real.
But I know he means well.
Silence of the Lambos
It was the hardest dump I ever took
Straight flush
I’ve never been so happy to make everyone at a table hate me.
Another player and I were getting into a pretty big pot at the Texas Hold Em table at my local casino last night.
Towards the end of the hand, he went “all-in” meaning he bet all of the rest of his chips.
When he pushed his stacks of chips in the middle, there was a really long hair hanging off of the chips that stayed attached to the top of his chip stack.
When the dealer counted up his stack he said “the bet is $205”
And I replied “ah, so just a hair over 200 dollars then??”
I’ve never wanted kids, but the audible groans I was rewarded with are now making me think I might be ignoring my calling.
But Patrick is the star.
A box of quackers!
She sure has a lot of photos in thesis.
Secretly (when my wife was out), I'd ask her "who do you love more?", and praise her when she said "dadda!". This has been going on for weeks now.
The other day, my wife got home and I wanted to show her my little 'trick'. So I asked our daughter, "Who do you love more?", in which case she replied "dadda!" and ran towards my wife (which is very clearly her favourite btw).
My wife, who didn't care much for the new thing I taught our daughter, bent down and picked her up to cuddle with her. Her facial expression changed a bit, then she laughed. She looked at me and said "well, she ran to me as she said that, and her diaper is full... so clearly she was full of crap when she said that!"
My wife is now in on the dad jokes and won this one!
Edit: Bolded the text to emphasize what part of this story was the dad joke...
Final Edit: My wife was surprised at how much this blew up! She says thanks to everyone, but she has no idea what the awards are for (since she doesn’t use Reddit). 😂
They could never decide which to prep first, the chicken or the eggs.
Because there's not a single person there
Ps. I wasn't invited either
A good flush will beat a full house every time.
Can Deliver.
They were out of Control.
Luckily I found an Escape.
I got Home eventually.
It meant a great deal to me.
There’s too many cheetahs.
Peanut butter you sickos!
I said "So it's a well gnome garden".
I laughed harder than he did.
Osama Bin Liner
Too many cheetahs
Too many cheetahs!
There's too many cheetahs
I know he means well
The steaks were high.
That's right!! The steaks were pretty high.
I guess the steaks were pretty high
It was high steaks.
Yes, the steaks were very high.
I thought to myself, “I can’t turn that down!"
