I tried to order a fruit basket for my friend, but he ended up receiving budoir pictures of his mom!

That's the last time i order from oedipal arrangements!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Ganders81
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 04 2017
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What items would you include in an amputation themed gift basket?

I know this isn't strictly a Dad joke, but I feel it is in the spirit of the thing. My dad is getting is getting his leg amputated in January. Essentially he has no cartilage in his ankle, and it causes him severe pain all the time. He has an amazing sense of humor, so I wanted to get him a gift basket of foot-based things. So far I have: -fruit by the foot -Happy Feet -Footloose -an Ihop gift card -pack of tube socks (since now he gets 2 for 1) -Bologna (because his amputation is below knee) -a card saying congrats on the weight loss -all put inside of a stocking

What other foot based pun items would you include in the gift basket?

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/pyroperformer93
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
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At brunch on Sunday for my mothers birthday.

Before our meal came out, the waiter had brought out a fruit basket with your typical fruit in. My dad picks up a green grape and a purple grape and just stares at them.

Me: "dad, what are you doing?"

Dad: "heh, what did the green grape say to the purple grape?"

Me: "uh, I don't know..."

Dad: "BREATHE, IDIOT!!! BREATHEEEEE!!!!!"

My mom thought it was th funniest shit ever.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/laxerado1313
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 30 2013
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