My dad trained his dog to sniff rocks and bark when it found a fossil.

It's a trained barkeologist.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
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I want to start a gas company that deals exclusively in fuel derived from dog fossils. It’s going to be called Paw Petrol.
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
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Scientists have recently discovered a fossilized dinosaur fart.

They say it's a blast from the past.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2018
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My 3yr old son told me there was a real dinosaur in the house! So we spent the morning looking for it when we saw a tail around the corner, but it was just a fossil-arm.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rasich
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2019
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Did you hear about the fossil they just found in South America?

It’s like a Brazilian years old.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blickhill17
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
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I found a fossil today.

Not worth much money, but it has sedimental value.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mortambulist
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
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I thought I found a dinosaur bone in my back yard

... but it was a fossil arm.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kmo78
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
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Extra thicc
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrunkOnSocks
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2020
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What do you call a sick dinosaur?

a bronchitis!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2020
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what did the archaeologist say when accused of lying about fossils?

Hey, those artifacts ...

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrYegg3000
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2018
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You're a fossil sample and I'm an impatient paleontologist

Cause I want to date you badly

-Ninja Sex Party lyrics

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πŸ‘€︎ u/marsbars111
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2017
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πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/robroy865
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2015
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Fossil record...

...it's rock solid evidence of evolution.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Noah271
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2017
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What kind of party do paleontologists throw when they find a fossilized tibia?

A big shin dig!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FutureFarm1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2018
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What fossils do computer scientists dig for?

Trilobytes!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cancer_in_a_Cup
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2016
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The fossil watches are really funny

I was in class and noticed my friend was wearing a new watch. I said "Hey is that a Fossil?" he said "Yeah I found it at the dig site" Stupid me said "Woah really! ..." laughs ensue.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThirdCocacola
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2014
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My dad's watch is so old...

I think it's a fossil.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/les_veggies
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2019
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What do you call a giant mushroom?

Hufungus

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Popes1ckle
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
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At my job as a paleontologist, I was searching for the thigh bone of a Neanderthal.

I thought I had found it, but it was a fossil arm. Then upon searching the site further, I found a petrified sausage. It was the missing link.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2018
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Did you hear about the disgraced archaeologist?

His career was in ruins.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TehIrishSoap
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2018
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Why can’t dinosaurs drive?

Too many T-Rex

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZombieQueen666
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2018
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My anthro professor had a good one today...

So today in anthro we were discussing what methods are used in dating fossils and fossil sites. We started talking about using rock layers to date and he said "this reminds me of one of the colleagues I had. He was pretty young and when ever we had our get togethers he would bring this beautiful woman, different every time, that always turned out to be his cousin. Anyways this method is an example of relative dating."

There were a couple laughs and one audible groan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BombXIII
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2014
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So I was at work

Discussing our watches, I had a Timex and my boss came up to me and said that he had a Fossil, I replied "really? It doesn't look that old."

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Da_Braz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2017
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Did you hear they found new evidence of the missing link?

Hopefully it's not just another fossil arm.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/veektohr
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2012
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There's a reason why archaeology majors are in such low demand.

It's a dying field.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bengalsix
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2016
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The shop assistant just groaned...

My girlfriend wnted a new watch so we went to the local shopping centre to go to the Fossil shop. It was shut due to a power outage. Go back the next day and they're open; a quick chat with the shop assistant and she says the problem still isn't fixed and they're using generators to try and get through the day.

I couldn't help myself and say "I guess that means you're running on Fossil Fuel then?"

It didn't go down very well.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hiro51
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2014
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I use this one almost daily

I work in a watch and accessory store, which sits directly across from a sephora, consequently we get a lot of husbands, dad's partner's etc. wandering through. They usually make a comment about waiting on some.

My response "Well Fossil is a great place to kill time"

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/inigomelo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2014
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