In college, I had trouble making friends until I came up with a foolproof plan.

I started telling girls, β€œI love you,” and their first reaction was, β€œLet’s just be friends.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I found out today my toaster isn’t waterproof.

I was shocked.

πŸ‘︎ 144
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arkham_Asylum27
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
🚨︎ report
r/Dadirl and then some..

Dad: Take my advice ...

...I'm not using it β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”

Every time my step Dad comes up with a foolproof solution..

along comes a more-talented fool

..dad

β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”

When I married Ms. Right...

I had no idea her first name was Always.

β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”

My wife got 8 out 10 on her driver's test

The other two guys managed to jump out of her way.

β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”

He who laughs last

...thinks slowest.

β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”

Women sometimes make fools of men

...but most guys are the do-it-yourself type.

β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”

I was going to give her the nasty look

..but she already had one.

β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”

Change is inevitable

...except from a vending machine.

β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”

The grass may be greener on the other side

...but at least you don't have to mow it.

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πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lifeis_amystery
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2018
🚨︎ report
My dad just recommended that I put all my money on UMBC for their game today

He says it’s foolproof because a 16 seed has never once lost in the second round

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Celebrimbor96
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2018
🚨︎ report

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