You know how only the strongest sperm gets to fertilise the egg?

I guess you could call it survival of the fetus.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RespectfulRat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
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Did you hear about the gardener who fell into a pile of his fertiliser and suffocated?

They had to do a compost-mortem.

(Credit to The Simpsons, the punchline came from a Treehouse of Horror ep)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fortytwoblaqk
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
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Did you hear that Egyptian cotton is now mostly fair trade?

Apparently they're planting it in fair rows.

Edit: Several thousand tons of mummified animals have been used as fertiliser.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2017
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I asked what my wife wanted for breakfast?

She said "sausage".

So I tried to fertilise her eggs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dinosaurking88
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2017
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Wife was playing my Pokemon Go...

She says, "I just got an egg for you" I say, "do I fertilise it?" Groaning teen-ager in the back... "please don't"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bengy77
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2016
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