What do New Englanders call a crate full of dentures?
A mass of chew sets (think Massachusetts).
Jane: I miss England.
Tarzan: Me no understand. You win beauty pageant?
Have you heard about the new band located in the north east of england?
They're called Durham Durham
With the global warming raising the sea level, it is only a question of time for England to become Engsea.
In England, they eat two eggs for breakfast..
But in France, one egg is un ouef.
I’m driving through England, and am supposed to stay in Greenwich for a day or two.
Not too sure what to do in the Mean Time.
People are not happy with Englands new COVID policy.
The whole country is in tiers
How does the Queen (of England) stay so thin?
She keeps all her pounds in the bank.
Why was it so hard to go to church in England after WWII?
Paddy and his wife are on holiday in England visiting Historical Sites.
"This is where the Magna Carta was signed," said the tour guide, "One the most important documents in English History."
"When was it signed?" asked Paddy.
"1215," said the tour guide.
"OH NO!" said Paddy, "We missed it by 10 minutes!"
England doesn't have a kidney bank,
but it does have a Liverpool.
The Amish have begun moving to New England.
They will be called Mainennites.
After the borders reopen I am going to visit Greenwich, England!!!
There is a lot that I want to accomplish in The Mean Time!!
Santa hit a dragon and killed it whilst flying over medieval England...
... guess you could say he sleighed it
In England, if you pay money to live in a toilet, you can tell people you're a loo tenant
Who was England’s first chiropodist?
Does England have a 4th of July?
Of coarse they do, it doesn’t jump from July 3rd to July 5th.
What does a manager in New England and a fish have in common?
What does a cook from Nothern England say when he leaves?
England doesn't have a kidney bank
But they do have a Liverpool.
Overheard my neighbour telling this joke to his kid.
What kind of tea does the queen of England drink?
To be honest the queen of England is old
She must drink imortali-tea
Did you know that the queen of England has the largest breasts of the world?
What is Spider-Man’s name in England?
It's amazing how some word's spellings change between America and Britain
For instance, in America they call Tyrannosaurus Rex a T-Rex and in England they call them a Tea-Rex
Why is the queen of England rich?
Because of all her royal tea's.
A company that makes powerful pick up trucks in a northern city of England started by a famous Icelandic electronic pop artist.
It's Björk's York Torque Corp.
What do you call a steak knighted by the queen of England?
If the Queen of England farts during dinner, the rest of the guests must pretend like nothing happened.
Noble gases should have no reaction.
America: color
England: colour
America:humor
England:humour
America: flavor
England: flavour
England: what are you doing?
America: I’m just getting rid of u
If Ke$ha moved to England...
I went fishing in the North of England with Kurt Cobain's widow
And said to her "Cought any love?"
An American went to England and had a question.
American: "Why is your wheel on the wrong side?'
English man responds: "No, the steering wheel is on the right side."
What is the cleanest city in England?
When the queen of England has a project and finance it herself. Is it called crownfunding ?
What's the difference between the Queen of England and a computer cable?
One's a British WASP, and the other is a USB.
The Church of England has finally approved of female bishops.
Now British women are finally free to move diagonally.
Why aren't there any penguins in England?
Because they're scared of Wales
My Dad really messed up his wrists dragging his car from England to France.
He got car-pull-tunnel syndrome.
My dad always said, “ Find a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and try to convince her to marry you.”
“She knows how to make bad decisions and stick by them.”
I am driving through England on a road trip, and I’m supposed to be in Greenwich tomorrow.
Not too sure what to do in the Mean Time.
England doesn't have a kidney bank...
But it does have a Liverpool.
England doesn't have a kidney bank. But it does have a Liverpool.
I’m driving through England and am supposed to stop in Greenwich tomorrow.
Not too sure what to do in the Mean Time.
I’m driving through England, and am scheduled to pass through Greenwich tomorrow.
Not too sure what to do in the meantime.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
