Jerry can
The results are staggering.
An onomato-pee-a
It’s all the indoor fins
It’s cutting-edge stem cell research.
He was a... super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
Find out on our site, www.tooth.dk
Because the budget was slashed
It seemed to work just fine for my NEIGHbors
I got chills..they're multiplying.
It has left a shower taste in my mouth.
They just want to be in stable condition.
You’ll sheet metal
I read one article and now I’m an expert on the Dunning-Kruger Effect.
AMA
There was instant confusion
They call it mourning wood.
it wasn't very effective
I’m just not sure it’s the Most Effective Title Available.
We’ve been in a bad joke email war for some time now. It’s been so long, I don’t remember how it started. It may have happened when I moved out after staying with him and my mom for a while.
Long story short: I’ve got a lot of dad jokes to share with y’all, because we are constantly sending “dad jokes” to each other. And I have hundreds of jokes that are LITERALLY from my dad.
All the best jokes? They are headed your way!
Here’s some to get you started. I am copying and pasting them exactly as he writes in the email so you can get the full “dad” effect. He’s 72.
Everyone who can, take a moment out of your day to call your dad.
————————————
the male pumpkin told the female pumpkin ................you look gourdish today boo me love dad
————————————
Exaggeration is a billion times better than understatement..........................love, dad
————————————
Is it true that if you teach a wolf to meditate it becomes an "aware wolf" ?
————————————
If swimming is good for your figure how do you explain whales?
Bad aina, I almost didn't send it.......................................Love dad
————————————
Have a good night everyone, and see you soon!
Aye Matey - has to be said in a slow pirate voice for full effect.
Because their enemies did NAZI it coming
My wife: Who did?
Me: Yep.
True story. Happen about 2 hrs ago.
Back trying. My wife and I both work in the medical field. She runs hospital employee health dept, and I’m the dental director for a public health agency.
My wife had Covid-19 in January. We were talking about the long term, later effects of Covid on people’s health.
Wife: I wonder what the residual effects of Covid-19 are. My left ear hasn’t been right since I had Covid.
Me: Well of course not.
Wife: Why? What have you heard?
Me: Well your left ear can’t feel right. It’s your left ear.
Wife: God, why did I marry you 33 years ago?
She said its effects are so restrictive she may as well be in jail.
I told her to just be glad she's not on her semicolon because that's a sentence that doesn't end.
But some won't get it
But today, he stopped himself and instead said, I have the unresistable urge to consume, may I please receive assistance in this matter? My only effective dad joke has been swallowed by age.
that way you won't take any fall damage.
"That's the Domino effect!"
Bullet points
Personally, I think it’s nuts.
What a grand start to the weekend.
Cold turkey
But they concluded a Pill-O helped everyone sleep better
The dot "."
It has ended more sentences than anything else.
Due to all the indoor fins
Due to all the indoor fins
Me.
Due to all the indoor fins.
