"A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus crashed yesterday losing its entire load.

Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralysed, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless, and perplexed.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/always-paranoid
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2020
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I saw two women exercising today.

They were taking a walk but were way too close to each other given the social distancing orders. When I confronted them about the need to keep at least 6 feet apart, one of them looked at me dumbfounded and said, "We're just trying to flatten our curves!"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jr_flood
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
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What does this spell?

I'm in the car with my 6yr old daughter and she starts asking me "What does this spell, d-o-g?" I answer, "dog". She congratulates me and asks again. "What does this spell? c-a-t" I say "cat". Again, she congratulates me and I asked her "Ok, what does this spell? I-d-o-n-t-k-n-o-w" She is dumbfounded, but you can see her trying. Shes asks a couple of times for me to repeat the letters. She then finally concedes and sadly says "I don't know." I let out a huge, "THAT'S RIGHT! GOOD JOB!" She started laughing and let out a sympathetic "oh daddy."

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/1dolla2dolla
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2014
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What do you call it when I find something?

Dumbfounded

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ninetensucks
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2018
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Taking dad out to dinner and he dropped one on the waiter (of course he did)...

He ordered a burger.

Server: "How would you like that cooked?"

Dad: "On the grill, preferably."

Dad had to clarify that he was just joking because the server was dumbfounded. Server said he didn't laugh because if my dad was serious and he did laugh, he'd be in trouble.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ookitarepanda
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2016
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My dad= His own biggest fan

My dad saw me about to make some chicken noodle soup. Knowing I wasn't feeling well he offered to make it for me instead. I accepted his offer and sat down on the couch. Once it was done, my dad hands me a bowl of the hot soup and extends a spoon towards me. I look at the spoon but notice as I'm about to grab it, it's one of those strainer spoons, the big ones with the holes in it. I give him a dumbfounded look, and he proceeds to bust out laughing as he takes a normal spoon out from behind his back, hands it to me, and walks back to the kitchen chuckling to himself the whole way. Gotta love that guy.

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SourGrape_Snape
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2013
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Girl at work got me

I was at the top of an 8 foot ladder. One of my coworkers walked up and was looking up at me.

Me: whats up?

Her: you are!

She started giggling and walked off as i looked at her dumbfounded.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/booziwan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2014
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He got me good this time.

We were at a rugby game and I offered my dad my mints, he took one and put the packet on the floor with a grin. I said why'd you put them there? He replied "they're for Ron." I asked who Ron was He replied with "he's just late." About 30 seconds past and I looked at him dumbfounded and asked him where and who this mysterious Ron is? He picked up the mints ate the last couple and said "I was just saving them for Later on" Edit: not sure I made sense but Later on.... LateRon.... Late Ron ughhhh

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/marcogelato
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2014
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So I got a second cat, and my mother was bringing another litter box.

So she said: "You should write 'Sammy' on the litter box."

Me: (Look at her dumbfounded for a moment, stutter mildly and speak quietly for emphasis, like how you would when telling a family member that a mutual loved one is very ill) "M-Mom...I..I don't think he can read."

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CptSmackThat
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2014
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A friend asked me what makes Chili Verde green?

Me: Is it the chili?

Friend: Noooo

Me: ... So it's the verde.

He was dumbfounded.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FuckingQWOPguy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2014
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My dad tells this to everyone, and he still cracks up - A mouse looking for his lenses.

My dad has been telling this goddamn joke for as long as I can remember -

It's night and completely dark, the only light that shines on the deserted street comes from a lightpost which stands over the sidewalk. A little mouse is frantically wandering around near the lightpost when he gets interrupted by a bear. The bear is curious and asks the mouse what he is doing. The mouse responds: I'm looking for my lense, it fell out and I can't find it. The bear asks if the mouse needs help and the mouse gladly accepts the offer. "Do you know where you were standing when you lost your lense?" asks the bear. The mouse casually points across the street into the black abyss and says "about there, I guess". The bear is surprised by this answer and asks why the mouse isn't looking over there. With a dumbfound look on his face the mouse looks at the bear and says: "Well yeah, but at least I have some light here."

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brammelam
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2013
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