Had knee surgery today

While the nurse was getting me ready to go, she had to disconnect the wires and take off all tabs. She said there all wires removed. I said β€œthanks now I am wireless!”

The wife groaned

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crosstalk22
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
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My friend wanted to ask a girl out, but every time he'd get her on the phone he'd freak out and abruptly disconnect..

He had too many hang-ups.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
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I was waiting at the hotel's lobby when the WiFi was disconnecting from time to time.

I really hated that reception.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
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This story is about a man called Trevor, and his obsession with tractors.

Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.

Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.

Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.

The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.

Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.

Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.

One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.

Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.

β€œWell” said Jeff, β€œAs I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.

The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.

β€œYes of course” replied Trevor

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShredderSte
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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If two online friends meet each other first time in real world in disco club...

... can we say that they disconnected?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MoralsAreUgly
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2018
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More than meets the eye

I was working on disconnecting an old intercom system in our house when I explained to the wife that it's powered by a low voltage line.
Wife: Can't you just cut the power line?
Me: I need to disconnect it at the transformer where the power comes in.
Wife: Well where's that?
Me: Well they're hard to find because it's a robot in disguise.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyOtherAccount_3
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2016
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Got a customer pretty good last night (Halloween)

So a group of guys come into the shop, in various costumes. One of them is wearing a dressing gown and holding a fork and disconnected plug socket thingy.

I asked him what he was, and he said he was a child that stuck a fork in an electrical socket. He was annoyed that nobody could guess it, so I replied:

"I know, it must've been pretty shocking for you."

My colleague sent me to stock out after that.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tote_Sport
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2015
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Tech support

My mom was on the phone with tech support and suddenly got disconnected, so she said, "Please call me back". And like all good fathers should, my dad called her "back" for the rest of the day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/doctorflash
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2013
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