The 5 signs of forgetfulness:
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
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Yes don't forget to take it.
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/whiskey_risky
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
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I was sick and tired of my wife forgetfully leaving her feminine hygiene products in the toilet, so I confronted her

She immediately flushed with embarrassment.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2021
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I once asked Tom Jones if he ever forgets the lyrics....

He said, it’s not unusual.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flippmo
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2021
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I'll never forget my grandfather's last words before he kicked the bucket

"Do you wanna see how far I can kick that bucket?"

πŸ‘︎ 216
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CurtCocane
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
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Why did the banana forget to take out the garbage?

It slipped his mind.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jokesonyoumate1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
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I'll never forget my grandfathers last words to me..

"Would you stop shaking the fucking ladder?!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/facts_my_guyy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
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(Warning: Morbid dad joke) True Story -- My family were planning my mum's funeral. We always try to keep things light and try to stay positive, just as Mum would have it...

The funeral director was asking us what we think Mum should wear in her casket.

Mum always loved to wear sarongs (fabric wraps that go around the torso and drape downward a bit like a long skirt would), so my uncle suggested that she wear a sarong in there.

The funeral director looked a bit confused, as did some of our family members, to which my uncle added:

"What's sarong with that?"

I started laughing like an idiot. He was proud of it too. The funeral director was rather shocked. We assured her, and our more proper relatives, that Mum would've absolutely loved the joke (which is very true).

His delivery was perfect. I'll never forget the risk he took. We sometimes recall the moment as a way help cushion the blows of the grieving process.

--Edit-- I appreciate the condolences. I'm doing well and the worst is behind me and my family. But thanks :)

--Edit-- Massive thanks for all the awards and kind words. And the puns! Love 'em.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zipflop
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
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I'll never forget the day I got married....

I've tried everything.....Alcohol. Drugs, even Hypnosis.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2021
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I remember when I left home for the first time, my mum said to me, "Don't forget to write!"

I thought to myself, 'That's unlikely,Its a basic skill, why should I?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2021
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I keep forgetting that Tom Petty passed away and it makes me sad

He don’t come around here no more

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theichel24
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
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DOES ANYONE ELSE FORGET THE ABBREVIATION FOR MAINE?

OR IS IT JUST ME?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/suktupbutterkup
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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When I left home to go on a business trip, my wife said "Don't forget to write"

I thought, "That's unlikely... it's a basic skill, isn't it?"

πŸ‘︎ 388
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EmBeeCSGO
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
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Only two things make me forget about all the shit that's going on with my life. Comedy and......

Alzheimer's

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aritra_001
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2021
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Don’t forget to dress warm tomorrow

It’s going to be minus 45.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
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I’ll never forget the day I saw the ugliest man I’ve ever seen.

The dude thought it was funny to copy my every move, he’s lucky there was a pane of glass between us.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yellgames01
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
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What’s the best way to guess the temperature at the top of a mountain?

Climate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thyminecraft
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2021
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Don't forget you
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MetropolisCourier
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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I keep forgetting the guitar tabs to that one Sublime song...

I guess you could say I dont practice Santeria.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CornCobMcGee
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
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Was checking my son's essay about the countryside and saw he kept writing the word 'hll'. So I told him to never forget...

The hills have 'i's.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
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I forget things once in awhile.

I have Someteimer’s.

(Courtesy of my mom).

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anddditburns
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
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How do you turn a fox into an elephant?

Marry her. 😬

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tinnber
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2021
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Guess they should read the bio next time
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Littlegrayhair
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
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Don’t forget to tip the waitress
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DesDesign11
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
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My kid keeps forgetting to flush the toilet after he takes a dump.

"That shit is getting old," I told him.

PS: Do I get any extra credit if this is a real story?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cja1968
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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I'll never forget the day I first met my wife. We were at a fancy dress party and she was stood there, looking gorgeous and slim, with her fat mate...

They'd gone together dressed as the number 10...

I knew there and then that she was the One!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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I'll see myself out 🀣
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
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Why do beginner artist always forget to draw the stick figure’s thumb when they draw a fist?

They forgot the punchline

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SleepyCrow07
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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My wife tells me I have 2 major faults,

I don't listen - and something else.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kgangadhar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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My 9-year-old son Luke was forgetting to use his cutlery again at dinner.

So in my best Obi-Wan Kenobi voice I said, "Luke, use the fork!"

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
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I had a joke about a grizzly in my car but i always forget the punch line ..

Bear with me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/azzapro
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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A painter forgets to paint the trim a different color.

The home owner comes out and says β€œThat’s all white.”

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Karrathan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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Don't forget your protective eyewear
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lord_and_Savion
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
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I’ll never forget the last thing my late grandfather said to me.

Sorry I’m late.

πŸ‘︎ 174
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Light_bulbnz
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
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Right before he kicked the bucket, my grandpa said to me:

"Hey, watch how far I can kick this bucket."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kdlaz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
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β€œDoc, I think I have ADHD. I keep forgetting where I parked my Ford.”

Doctor: That’s not how ADHD works.

β€œBut I keep losing my Focus!”

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2019
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Why did the limping Donkey cross the road ?...Ahh forget it.

.. Sorry for such a lame Ass joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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Why can't an elephant forget?

He has a trunk full of memories.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rick--Diculous
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
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This might be hard to get, but a Man walks into a tavern and..ahh forget it.

Too much of an Inn joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
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Who does a Muslim ask when he forgets about the greatest Mughal Emperor?

#Allah-Who-Akbar

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/siddharths067
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
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When you order a large combo meal in north korea what size is your drink?

1 supreme liter.

πŸ‘︎ 115
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oppy1984
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
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Dad: Hey, don’t forgetβ€” tomorrow is Father’s Day.

Me: Don’t forget its son day too.

πŸ‘︎ 86
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
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Don’t forget to dress warm tomorrow

I heard it’s going to be minus 45

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/roshiqx
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
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When I was leaving home for the first time, my dad said to me, "Don't forget to write."

I thought, "That's unlikely. It's a basic skill, isn't it ?"

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
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I'll never forget my old man's last words before he kicked the bucket:

"Son, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

πŸ‘︎ 95
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DevonWhiteTurnUp
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
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I will never forget the last thing what my late grandfather told me.

Sorry I'm late.

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/__teju
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
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I'll never forget the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket.

"Watch how far I can kick this bucket!!!:

πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ‘€︎ u/flannel-ish
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
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