Remake of Alien coming to cinemas near you!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Defenestr-Asian
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Jean-Pierre’s dream of meeting an Extra-Terrestrial finally came true. His first question for the alien was...

You must be from Mars, eh?

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/granquist04
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
My son, apparently an 7yo dad says to me... " Hey dad, what's the alien say to the cat?"

"Take me to your litter"

He's been working on his joke game. V.proud.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Subtotalpoet
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a shopping alien?

A Wal-Martian. (My daughter made that one up.)

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moffitar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Why haven’t aliens visited us yet?

They saw the rating- only one star.

πŸ‘︎ 83
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SZT2
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you put baby alien to sleep ?

You rocket !

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedMusical
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
How do aliens keep themselves clean while in space?

With a meteor shower!!!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Amart1985
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the aliens say when they came down to earth?

Gday mate, how you goin?

Turns out they were Australiens

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/flaxsee
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Where do aliens and alphabets go party

In the space Bar

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πŸ‘€︎ u/darkintruder77
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call someone who discriminates against aliens?

A space-ist!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/malgus2001
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Why haven’t aliens visited our solar system yet?

They looked at the reviews first...... only 1 star

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/callmekrusty
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s it called when you have too many aliens? Extraterrestrials.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
🚨︎ report
An alien came down to Earth the other day, stepped out of his spaceship and said, "G'day cobber! Let's start a barby and throw some shrimp on! Strewth!".....

....he was an Austr-alien

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KCL80
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a melodramatic space alien?

An An-drama-da Queen.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pstryder
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Asked an Alien why they never visits us.

''bad reviews, only one star''they said.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PlankenSonja
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
🚨︎ report
According to official NASA documents they have Aliens on the ISS.

They also have Alien, Alien 3 and Alien Resurrection - all on DVD.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Imaginator127
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
🚨︎ report
They found an alien deep underground

It was inside this world!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UnknownFor3818
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What type of currency do aliens use in outer space?

Starbucks

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sh3dinja
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Oldie but a goldie
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Un_FaZed211
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What tech do aliens use?

Samsung Galaxy

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JustTheNewFella
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Those aliens that abduct cows must be gamblers

They're always raising the steaks

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What is an alien's favourite show?

"How I meteor mother"

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BattleKing2504
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
🚨︎ report
How do aliens spell words?

They use the ALFabet

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scottyharp78
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
🚨︎ report
If talking about socialism alienates some of my friends, then Soviet.
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Genesis1522
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don’t aliens ever visit Earth?

Because it only has one star

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/frupp110
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
🚨︎ report
We may as well have aliens attacking this year. WHO knows?

Trump joke.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madjholu
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the name of the largest cell service provider for alien life forms?

ET&T

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Youwantfuckame
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I was recently hired by aliens.

I am in my probe-ationary period.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a sick bird from Mars?

An ill Eagle alien

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Aliens stole one of my molars!

...but I know the tooth is out there

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/La_Tis
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Why haven't the aliens visited earth yet?

They read the reviews... only one star

πŸ‘︎ 104
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tawzeeh
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter..

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DanGlerrBOY89
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Why haven’t aliens visited our solar system?

They looked at our reviews: only 1 star.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/singh_j
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don't aliens visit our solar system?

They looked at the reviews, only one star

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moon1499
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Those aliens that abduct cows must be gamblers.

They're always raising the steaks.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Miketar85
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Where do aliens go for a drink?

The Space Bar

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordSaumya
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Where do aliens go for a drink?

Space bar

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NDK113
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Why haven't aliens visited our solar system yet ?

The looked at the reviews.....only 1 star

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Why haven't aliens visited our solar system yet?

They checked the reviews................ only one star.

πŸ‘︎ 199
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Noir_Reaper
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Why haven't aliens visited our solar system yet?

When they checked the reviews it only had 1 star.

πŸ‘︎ 244
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thatrandomfly
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the near-sighted aliens who showed up on Earth?

They were looking for first contacts.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Why haven’t the aliens visited our solar system yet?

Bad reviews... only 1 star.

πŸ‘︎ 194
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lasercats18
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2019
🚨︎ report
You know why aliens haven't visited us yet?

They checked our reviews. One star.

πŸ‘︎ 310
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Absolute_Altarius
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Why doesn’t aliens visit Earth?

Because we only have a one star review.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lazydoodlelol
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2020
🚨︎ report

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