Diomedea Exulans Puns

One mystery that I’ve known about for years concerns a lost photograph that nobody can seem to locate, despite many claiming to have seen it at one point.

In cryptozoological terms “Thunderbirds” are sightings of titanic condors or vultures, far bigger than any known extant species. It is believed that the majority of these sightings are, in fact, of recognized species that appear larger to eyewitnesses through various naturally occurring optical illusions. It is especially important to remember that laypeople, who make up the bulk of these sightings, can easily miscalculate the size of an animal that they unexpectedly encounter. In particular, birds high in the air can appear huger than they really are without anything nearby to compare them with.

Zoologist Karl Shuker has spent a great deal of his career collecting reports of impossible animal encounters and has written on thunderbirds several times. The tale of the “Tombstone Thunderbird” has been of great interest to him. He details the origins below:

“It all (allegedly) began back in 1886 when an Arizona newspaper called the Tombstone Epitaph supposedly published a very striking photograph, which depicted a huge dead pterodactyl-like bird with open beak and enormous outstretched wings, nailed to a barn and flanked by some men. This bird was reputed to be a thunderbird, and judging from the size scale provided by the height of the men standing alongside it, its wingspan appeared to be an awesome 36 ft! In other words, it was three times greater than that of the wandering albatross Diomedea exulans - the bird species currently holding the record for the world's biggest modern-day wingspan.

"Since then, countless people claim to have seen this same photo in various magazines published sometime during the 1960s or early 1970s, but no-one can remember precisely where. Those publications thought to be likely sources of such a picture include Saga, True, Argosy, and various of the many Western-type magazines in existence during this period in America, but searches through runs of these publications have failed to uncover any evidence of it.

"Nor has anyone come forward with a copy of this photo as published elsewhere, and the archives of the Tombstone Epitaph do not have any copy of it either.

"A number of photos claimed to be this evanescent, iconic image have been aired over the years, especially online, but these have all been exposed as hoaxes.”

One common claim is that the photograph appeared on

One advantage of Vera's species the "Anrotids" was their need for minimal sleep compared to most species only 3-4 hours. To put this in perspective most required 8-9 hours and humans on average could function rather well on 4-6. Now taking into account that Vera had gotten to her quarters and went to sleep by 22:30 she had 7.5 hours until briefings and introductions. So when she was awoken by Emerald at 04:00 she was surprised that she had slept in, she was more surprised by how horrible she felt. Thinking back to the night prior, she couldn't remember leaving the bar but did remember drinking more than she ever had before, including her graduation, coming of age ceremony, and her fathers death.

A2: Morning Vera, ready to meet your assistant?

A1: Good morning Emma, do I have a choice?

A2: Well you still have to meet him but you can finish getting dressed first. [Gestures down]

A1: [Looks down then slams door] FUUUUUUCK!!! Give me 5 minutes.

6 minutes later

A1: [Opening door] Now where is this assistant?

A2: In the canteen, let's walk and talk.

A1: Is there anything I need to know about this assistant?

A2: I'll let him introduce himself but I'll tell you this he's a "Thranoid" raised by human friends of mine after a raid on a Zixol labor camp, he's a kinetic weapon enthusiast by human standards, and he's a good person to have your back.

Note: Thranoids are a race of bipedal four armed avians known for being too muscular to fly, having caused them to over time lose their wings for more developed arms.

A1: Do you trust his abilities?

A2: [Entering canteen] I damn well should, I'm his godmother.

A3: [Quickly walking to Emerald] Auntie

A2: Jason, be more formal, you're meeting your new boss after all.

A3: Apologies Captain Hyagraz, I am Lieutenant MacCarthy, until further notice I will serve as your assistant and advisor.

A1: I look forward to working with you, now why don't we eat something before attending briefings.

A2: I'll get the food, Jason quickly explain what meeting her platoons will be like.

A3: Yes ma'am.

A2: [Walks away]

A3: Caption after briefings you'll be introduced to your six lieutenants, undergo an official swearing in ceremony, listen to each platoon declare their motto, and finish with a dinner and short speech.

A1: And as a lieutenant yourself should I assume you'll lead one of these groups?

A3: No ma'am though if need be I am certified to deliver orders to Mantis, Huntsmen, and Molerat platoons

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Or would that be too forward thinking?

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

I’m not a diehard believer when it comes to cryptozoology, but I enjoy reading about on occasion it for fun. One mystery that I’ve known about for years concerns a lost photograph that nobody can seem to locate, despite many claiming to have seen it at one point.

In cryptozoological terms “Thunderbirds” are sightings of titanic condors or vultures, far bigger than any known extant species. It is believed that the majority of these sightings are, in fact, of recognized species that appear larger to eyewitnesses through various naturally occurring optical illusions. It is especially important to remember that laypeople, who make up the bulk of these sightings, can easily miscalculate the size of an animal that they unexpectedly encounter. In particular, birds high in the air can appear huger than they really are without anything nearby to compare them with.

Zoologist Karl Shuker has spent a great deal of his career collecting reports of impossible animal encounters and has written on thunderbirds several times. The tale of the “Tombstone Thunderbird” has been of great interest to him. He details the origins below:

“It all (allegedly) began back in 1886 when an Arizona newspaper called the Tombstone Epitaph supposedly published a very striking photograph, which depicted a huge dead pterodactyl-like bird with open beak and enormous outstretched wings, nailed to a barn and flanked by some men. This bird was reputed to be a thunderbird, and judging from the size scale provided by the height of the men standing alongside it, its wingspan appeared to be an awesome 36 ft! In other words, it was three times greater than that of the wandering albatross Diomedea exulans - the bird species currently holding the record for the world's biggest modern-day wingspan.

"Since then, countless people claim to have seen this same photo in various magazines published sometime during the 1960s or early 1970s, but no-one can remember precisely where. Those publications thought to be likely sources of such a picture include Saga, True, Argosy, and various of the many Western-type magazines in existence during this period in America, but searches through runs of these publications have failed to uncover any evidence of it.

"Nor has anyone come forward with a copy of this photo as published elsewhere, and the archives of the Tombstone Epitaph do not have any copy of it either.

"A number of photos claimed to be this evanescent, iconic image have been aired over the years, especia