Just happened, proud of myself: just had a quick office zoom meeting with a lot of people. As each person popped on zoom made that βDING DONGβ sound. One of my bosses said βanyone that can figure out how to make Zoom stop doing that is gonna get a prize.β
I said βare you gonna give them the No-Bell prize?β
I HAVE WON THE DAY
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︎ Oct 26 2021
Have you heard that joke that goes "ding dong" in the punchline?
No? I knew it wouldn't ring a bell.
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︎ Apr 29 2022
If thereβs a king sized mattress and a queen sized mattress, where does the prince sleep?
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︎ Jun 05 2022
What word starts with E and ends with E but only has one letter in it?
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︎ Apr 23 2022
I went on a Canadian trivia show and they asked about all the provinces.
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︎ May 04 2022
What happened when the bell ringer tied a rope round his willy?
He got tolled off by the vicar.
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︎ Jul 11 2022
My 7 year old daughter just told me this one. I'm so proud. What did the duck say when he bought chapstick?
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︎ Jan 26 2022
I came out as bikesexual today
My parents were really confused so I had to back pedal to explain
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︎ Feb 01 2022
I have a fear of overly intricate buildings...
I have a complex complex complex.
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︎ Jan 27 2022
Barack Obama at our local church making continual βDing Dongβ noises.
I can see why he won the No peace Bell Prize
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︎ Mar 05 2021
The man who invented autocorrect has died...
His funfair will be helped next Monkey
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︎ Nov 08 2021
Whatβs the answer to 230 - 220 * .5?
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︎ Nov 22 2021
C'mon people, it's 2022. No more knock knock jokes!
We have doorbells nowadays
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︎ Apr 28 2022
Ding heres a light joke to brighten up the world(three jokes in one) (;
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︎ Sep 16 2020
This rings a bellβ¦
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︎ Oct 28 2021
My dad always wanted to be a professional boxer but he sells hoovers instead
He calls himself Dyson Fury
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︎ Mar 31 2022
PSA: if you receive an email with the subject ding dong. Whatever you do, donβt open it.
Itβs the Jehovahβs witnesses working from home
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︎ May 12 2020
Dong. Ding Dong.
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︎ Feb 05 2020
Canβt believe Netflix is considering a new show about hit-and-runs to regain subscribers.
But Iβve seen Stranger Dings
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︎ May 23 2022
When redbull also gives you dings
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︎ Aug 30 2019
How did Pavlov get his hair so soft?
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︎ Aug 11 2021
SpongeBob may be the main character of the show.
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︎ Jun 16 2021
I prefer knockers
My doorbell is a real ding dong
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︎ May 03 2022
Live savings spent in a second
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︎ Mar 05 2021
What do you call a stick used to ding a bell?
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︎ Jan 27 2017
I normally knock on the fridge door before I open it...
Just in case thereβs a salad dressing
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︎ Aug 29 2020
He was talking about the ding-a-ling song (dads will get the reference)
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︎ Oct 08 2013
Did you hear the news about the inventor of the knock-knock joke?
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︎ Sep 18 2021
When's a door not a door?
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︎ Jul 16 2021
When I say, "Ding dong." You say, "Aww."
"...why?" My girlfriend asked.
"Because it's a-door-able!"
All I heard was groans as she walked out and closed the door.
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︎ Dec 20 2016
Good boi Kraken
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︎ Jul 08 2020
Took me a minute I canβt lie
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︎ Jan 06 2021
What do you call two Tibetan Buddhist monks having a fight?
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︎ Jan 15 2022
What does a house wear?
Address
Edit: Wow! I never thought my first award would be for a dad joke. Thanks anonymous redditor.
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︎ Jul 24 2019
I asked my wife to rate my listening skills and she said, βYouβre an 8 on a scale of 10." But what I still donβt get is why...
She wanted me to urinate on a skeleton.
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︎ Jan 18 2021
Whatβs blue and not heavy
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︎ Jun 03 2019
What did the nut say when chasing the other nut?
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︎ Mar 24 2019
Whatβs an impostorβs favorite breakfast?
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︎ Apr 19 2021
What do you call a stupid bell?
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︎ May 26 2021
someone insulted me on my monitor's refresh rate,
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︎ Jan 25 2019
You know what's the wurst?
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︎ Apr 29 2021
Ding dong...
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︎ Jan 30 2020
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