Carpe(t) Diem!
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DurrVinci
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
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My uncle once had a 24-hour epileptic episode.

Now that's what I call seizing the day.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Jazst
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
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Not sure if this has been posted here before. I found it on Facebook cause I suck.
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Shiny_Shaymin18
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 28 2018
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A young man worked at a carpet selling business

A young man worked at a carpet selling business and one day his boss came up to him and said:
"We have been impressed with how you sell the products. We're going to send you to a carpeting convention in Las Vegas so you can learn all the tricks of the trade. We will pay for your flights, accommodation, and all your food!"
The young man was excited and went and got ready for his trip. The day of the trip came and the young man's boss called and asked him if he was excited for his adventure to which the young man replied:
"Yes I am! I'm gonna seize the day because I've got a carpet per diem"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/esjay_
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 15 2020
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My dad's fishing jokes are appalling.

I was telling my dad about my JAWS essay that is due in a couple of days and this is the conversation that followed.

Me: I'm writing out my JAWS essay.

Dad: Ok sounds a bit fishy.

Me:That's a terrible joke.

Dad: Hook line and sinker

ME: Stahp. I can't handle the dad jokes anymore.

Dad: Holy mackerel he's growing up

Me: You seriously can't make anymore up.

Dad: I'm having a whale of a time.

Me: Really?

Dad: Yes

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Dropboy6
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 26 2014
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Thereโ€™s no time like today to do the things you love. For me, that thing is fishing.

Carp diem!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/garboooge
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 31 2019
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If I owned a carpet store

Iโ€™d name it โ€œCarpet Diemโ€

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/MrBungles
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 12 2019
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Start a shop selling rugs, mats etc. Call it...

Carpet Diem

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/masterconjuror
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 11 2016
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For motivation, my friend buys a new rug every day

His motto is โ€˜carpet diemโ€™

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/onejdc
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 13 2018
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Out-dadded by Mom

I always say "sieze the carp" because I'm hilarious. Sent my mom the following text, letting her know I was out because it was such a nice day:

>Me: Playing disc golf.

>Mom: :). K

>Me: Figured I'd size the carp while I could.

>Mom: That's a Diem good idea

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/outfromtheashes
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 26 2015
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Yesterday I built a bonsai bench

Very motivated. Got up early and worked all day at it.

Carpentry diem.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ZeroJoke
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 18 2015
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