Diem Puns

Now that's what I call seizing the day.

A young man worked at a carpet selling business and one day his boss came up to him and said:
"We have been impressed with how you sell the products. We're going to send you to a carpeting convention in Las Vegas so you can learn all the tricks of the trade. We will pay for your flights, accommodation, and all your food!"
The young man was excited and went and got ready for his trip. The day of the trip came and the young man's boss called and asked him if he was excited for his adventure to which the young man replied:
"Yes I am! I'm gonna seize the day because I've got a carpet per diem"

I was telling my dad about my JAWS essay that is due in a couple of days and this is the conversation that followed.

Me: I'm writing out my JAWS essay.

Dad: Ok sounds a bit fishy.

Me:That's a terrible joke.

Dad: Hook line and sinker

ME: Stahp. I can't handle the dad jokes anymore.

Dad: Holy mackerel he's growing up

Me: You seriously can't make anymore up.

Dad: I'm having a whale of a time.

Me: Really?

Dad: Yes

Carp diem!

I’d name it “Carpet Diem”

Carpet Diem

His motto is ‘carpet diem’

I always say "sieze the carp" because I'm hilarious. Sent my mom the following text, letting her know I was out because it was such a nice day:

>Me: Playing disc golf.

>Mom: :). K

>Me: Figured I'd size the carp while I could.

>Mom: That's a Diem good idea

Very motivated. Got up early and worked all day at it.

Carpentry diem.