Many years ago there was a vicious viking named RΓΌdoff.

RΓΌdoff was one of the best fighters in his village and a terrifying opponent on the battlefield. He would often return from battle, so drenched in his opponent's blood that he became known as "RΓΌdoff det rΓΈde", meaning "the red".

After years of wars, and regular battles, RΓΌdoff finally grew old, and decided that his fighting days were behind him. He became the best farmer that his village had ever known and people would travel from.far away to ask him about his crops and to predict the weather, as he was quite proficient at it.

One morning he wokeup, and looked out the window, the skys were clear and the sun was shining, but RΓΌdoff could feel the pressure in his old bones and battle scars

"It will Rain soon", he said to his wife while she made breakfast. She glanced outside and told him he was nuts, it was bright and sunny.

He simply hiked up his pants and reminded her:

RΓΌdoff The Red knows rain, dear.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/smoffatt34920
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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This case has been a stain on our reputation.

We need to solve it quickly. Send for Det. Urgent

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shouldExist
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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I love this
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thatswack69
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
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My friend said. β€œI am late. I have to go and feed my baby hamsters.”

I said, β€œ Are you sure your baby would like it?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2018
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Father in law in the store.

So we're Swedish and this joke only works in Swedish (sorry). We went to buy some food, and the word liver has 2 meanings in Swedish ( lever - live and liver) So I said (pointing at the liver) Liver. He walk up to it and stares at it... And then he says nah looks pretty dead to me...

Sorry probably not so funny for you non sweeds..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OHDEERGOAT
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2014
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Only Australians will understand

How Aussies ask where the bathroom is

B'det, mate?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joeywithanr
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2016
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