There was once a balloon family...

Papa balloon, Muma balloon and Bubba balloon.

Bubba balloon was still sleeping with Papa and Muma balloon but he was starting to get too big.

Papa and Muma balloon got a bedroom setup for Bubba balloon so they can finally sleep alone. But every night he would come in crying to sleep with Papa and Muma balloon but they never let up.

But one night, Bubba balloon waited for the Papa and Muma balloon to be faaaast asleep. He tried to squeeze in between them but he couldn't quite fit. Very carefully, he started to let some air out of Papa balloon... It wasn't enough. Very carefully, he let some air out of Muma balloon... But it still wasn't enough. He didn't want to deflate his parents any more... So he slowly let some air out of himself. It was perfect. He snuggled in and slept soundly.

The next morning, you could imagine how disappointed Papa and Muma balloon was. Papa balloon said: We tried to help you and tried to help you grow in toy a Big Boy balloon. We are so disappointed with you.

You let ME down... You let your Muma down... But most disappointing of all... You let yourself down!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arokys81
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2021
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There are less and less balloons with money designs

God damn deflation

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thevladutz12
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2021
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Police forces are deflating the stats of seized drugs during the drug war campaign.

Apparently, they didn't do the math but they did the meth.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Baldomccoy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
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What happens when one of your butt implants deflates?

You're half assing it!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigKnowledge34
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
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I hear Tom Brady is very deflated after his loss.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CollapsibleEra
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2018
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I taught my pet rodent to chew holes in car tires.

He is now my little "Deflator Mouse".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
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Andrew Luck "Feels Deflated" Being out of the Playoffs

This guy. We may have the NFL's Dad Joke MVP.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/onyxsamurai
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2015
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My car got a flat while I was driving today...

It was a treadful, deflating experience which left me feeling flat and tired.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
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Do you know the hit Ramones song that was originally about inner tubing?

I Wanna Be Deflated.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
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Daughter had a balloon with a penny in it.

So, for Easter, my wife and I got our 2-year-old an array of balloons from a delivery service, including some pre-inflated pieces you could β€œbuild your own butterfly” with, etc. It was pretty cool, but coolest of all was this clear balloon pretty tightly inflated with a single penny in it, and if you shook the balloon enough, the penny would eventually find its way to circling the inside of the balloon.

Those balloons lasted for weeks, until today. If you’ve ever seen a clear balloon deflate, you know it gets a little yellow and opaque.

My wife found it laying around and brought it to me, saying, β€œThis looks like a condom with a penny in it.” And I said, β€œThat’s why they call it a money shot.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dormsta
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
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In a way, I kind of feel bad for the corona virus.

At my age, I remember how deflating it was to spend hours and hours coming up with an email address or gamer tag that was both clever and fun, only to find out that 18 others had thought of it first

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ty1erWard
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2020
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That super bowl was so good

It was the best one I've seen all year

πŸ‘︎ 624
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pwines14
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2015
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these guys are tired. thestarphoenix.com/storyl…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cryonisis
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2016
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Why can’t a bicycle stand by itself?

Because it’s two tired

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotatSalaed
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2018
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Why did Robert Kraft (owner of the New England Patriots) get a happy ending at a massage parlor in Florida???

To get his balls deflated.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twill2318
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
🚨︎ report
A family of balloons

Here's a joke my dad told me. Sorry if you've heard it, but I found it hilarious, and I think you might enjoy it.

In a small town in the suburbs, there was a small family of balloons. There was a mummy balloon, a daddy balloon, and a small child balloon. Every night the boy would sleep between his parents, but his father had had enough.

"son, I know you love sleeping between us, but you're getting a bit too old for it., " the father said. "You're nearly 8, you're a big boy, and your mother and I think you should sleep in your own bed from now on. You can stay tonight but starting tomorrow we want you in your own bed. Do you understand?"

"Yeah dad, I understand..." the boy said with a maudlin tinge to his voice.

"okay son, I love you."

"love you too dad"

The next night the boy tried sleeping in his own bed, but there was a storm outside. It was a dark, ominous storm - the kind of storm that sounds like a cataclysm for the end of the world.

The boy was scared, so he went to sleep in his parents room. However when he tried to squeeze between them, he found he didn't fit. He felt defeated. He felt scared. He felt alone.

But then an idea struck him. He decided he'd just let a little bit of air out of his father. He tried to squeeze in again, but had no such luck. So he let a little bit of air out of his mother. He tried again. Still no luck. Finally, he decided to let some air out of himself. Success! He squeezed in tightly and drifted off to sleep.

The next morning his parents were furious. His father was feeling particularly angry, and screamed at his son.

"son, I told you not to sleep in our room. I told you to sleep in your own bed! Didn't I say that Hun?"

"yes dear," the mother said, feeling slightly deflated.

"so son, what do you have to say for yourself?" the father asked in anger.

"it was dark and stormy and..." the boy tried to spit out.

"I don't care son!" the father interrupted. "you can't keep doing this! I'm very disappointed. You've let me down, you've let me down, but worst of all..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aesyr_raps
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2018
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OC from my dad

My dad sent this to me in email. The subject was: "Live from the Met"

http://imgur.com/gallery/oJqXVkJ

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jimmeofdoom
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2015
🚨︎ report
"Ugh, I was late to work because my bike had a flat tire"

"Did that leave you feeling deflated?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fnord123
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2017
🚨︎ report
What killed the dinosaurs?

A reptile dysfunction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toberoni
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2015
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Tom Brady may be the best QB in NFL history...

But that subject is very deflatable.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Shiva92
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2018
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My dad came home with patriots balloons today...

When I asked him why he bought them a week early, he looks at me and says it's because by the time the Super Bowl comes around, "they'll be DEFLATED."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/doses_of_mimosas
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2017
🚨︎ report
Good Morning

So I was sleeping on a air mattress on a hand made bed made out of wood. (Camping with hunting buddies) When I woke the air mattress has deflated. Dad: Good morning how did you sleep? Me: I feel like I slept on wood all night. Dad: I did to then I rolled over. Every one in the cabin moans except for one chuckle

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The-Voices
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2014
🚨︎ report
Out camping. Dadjoked my out-laws.

Leaving the campsite that morning, girlfriend's parents come over while I'm deflating the air mattress. The mattress we have has a battery-powered inflater/deflater.

Gf's mom: "Oh, it even comes with a sucker!"

Me: "Yeah, and for once it isn't the consumer."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brakos
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2014
🚨︎ report

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