Did you hear about the man who drowned in a bowl of muesli? He was dragged down by a currant..

I'm serious, it made the news headlines "Cereal killer sixth victim"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2020
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tutandgroan
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2017
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Lemon Currant cookies

My wife and son and I went to get a dessert at a new bakery in town. In the display case I saw some lemon currant cookies.

I asked the lady behind the counter if they had dates in them, and she went and asked the baker in the back.

She came back and said, "nope, no dates."

I said, "they're out of dates, they don't sound current to me!" my wife slunk over to a table while the lady and I (mostly I) laughed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElmerJShagnasty
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2016
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Why shouldn't you trust news from a raisin?

It's not currant

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TurboAxolotl
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2021
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I like to read news articles about grapes

I like to buff up on currant events.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Samwyzh
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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Did you hear about the musician making a song about preserves?

He says it's his currant jam.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ObjectionPW
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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Did you hear about the baker that got electrocuted last week?

He stepped on a bun and the currant went right up his leg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sticklemac
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
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I just swapped 50 raisins for 100 sultanas

I can’t believe the currant exchange rate

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OwenJthomas89
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
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I try to tell everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes....

It's all about raisin awarness

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πŸ‘€︎ u/B-man44
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
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Where do raisins keep their money?

In a currant account.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlaMenck
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
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"ok boomer"...

Said the currant to the elderberry

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dadlifememes
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
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Dried grapes are the riskiest beef marinade.

But every once in a while you should be raisin the steaks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ghostedito
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
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We should all start paying with Raisins and Sultanas.

I hear the currant exchange rate is excellent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BaldrickD2M
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2020
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What is a battery’s favourite thing to eat.

Currants

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gdubluu
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2019
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I ran into a dried grape at the gym this morning.

She was raisin them weights.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/devnodegree
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2018
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Did you hear about the news program dedicated to berries?

It was a currant affairs program.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/endangeredpenguin
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
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I was reading the newspaper yesterday and I skipped over a section dedicated to outing dried fruit that had cheated on their spouses.

Then again, I never was that into currant affairs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Deadkilldude4
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2018
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Was toasting a hot crossed bun and the power tripped, turned out a raisin had shorted against the toaster element

Must have been a fault currant

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πŸ‘€︎ u/adwyle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
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Milton Jones - "My other grandfather died after falling in a bowl of fruit cake mix, sounds unlikely but you see..."

"...under the surface are very strong currants."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dghughes
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2015
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Did you hear about the guy who drowned in his muesli?

I heard he was pulled under by a strong currant.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Teron__
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2018
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What's the most exciting news for berries?

Currant events.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2018
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Puns for Kids

The funniest and shortest puns for kids, you always remember while teaching children puns, try to choose the short ones because they are easy for them to remember and register.

Puns for Kids

Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed!


What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon!


Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.


What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the court room? Odor in the court!


Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.


Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.


The streets in the capital of Afghanistan are paved with Kabulstones.


How does a lion greet the other animals in the field? Pleased to eat you.


What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? An egg roll!


No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.


Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken!


What musical is about a train conductor? β€œMy Fare, Lady”.


A man drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.


What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.


What animals are on legal documents? Seals!


Why did the lion spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny!


Why did the bumble bee leave the house? It heard the school was having a spelling bee.


Being struck by lightning is really a shocking experience!


How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans!


Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!


Dockyard: A physician’s garden.


What did the angry mother say to the boiling pot of spaghetti? Simmer down!


The lights were too bright at the Chinese restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum.


β€œWhat’s purple and 5000 miles long?” β€œOoh! I know! The Grape Wall of China!”


Every calendar’s days are numbered.


This duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. β€œFour bucks,” says the bartender. β€œPut it on my bill.”


I used to be twins. My mother has a picture of me when I was two.


What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch!


When does a well-dressed lion look like a weed? When he’s a dandelion (dandy lion).


Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a-salted.


A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2017
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Father-in-law got us good before a hike

We were getting ready to go hiking around Mt. Rainier, and were hanging out in a large tent my wife's grandparents had set up. Her younger brother tried turning on a light hanging from the ceiling of the tent, but it wasn't plugged in. My Father-in-law looked at him seriously and said "looks like you'll need to plug it in to a currant bush."

Cue groans and eye rolls from everyone. At least I was able to appreciate the beauty of a quick-witted dad joke.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2015
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I've just been to the shops and swapped 50 raisins for 100 sultanas.

I can't believe the currant exchange rate!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mykeuk
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2018
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Just been to Tesco and swapped 50 raisins for 100 sultanas..

I cannot believe the currant exchange rate

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πŸ‘€︎ u/J666S44
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2018
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Just been to Tesco and swapped 50 raisins for 100 sultanas.

I can't believe the currant exchange rate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KinkyLAD
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2016
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