Covid Test Puns

A list of puns related to "Covid Test"

My wife wanted to take a little vacation upstate, but had to take a COVID test first. Of course, I said…

…you have to poke your nose before you go to the Poconos.

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👤︎ u/UnintelligiblePatter
📅︎ Sep 13 2022
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COVID was caught stealing test answers from the flu and got caught.

He was plaguearising.

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👤︎ u/ThatOnePretzel
📅︎ Feb 28 2022
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My dad had to take a covid test

He then asked the doctor if he passed. Doctor said no, but you will in a few days...

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👤︎ u/Mister_Jacobz
📅︎ Nov 13 2021
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I tell ya, those Covid nurses that do the swab test…

They’re a nosey bunch, aren’t they.

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👤︎ u/THEjakethedrummer
📅︎ Oct 27 2021
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I went in for a Covid test and my doctor asked if I had a sudden loss of taste

"No, I always dress like this", I replied.

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👤︎ u/professorf
📅︎ Feb 02 2021
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I served a pot of chili to a table of anti vaxxers and jokingly told them it could double as a covid test.

They thought it was a bit tasteless.

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👤︎ u/YZXFILE
📅︎ Dec 06 2021
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Why did the vampire get a COVID test?

Because he was COFFIN.

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👤︎ u/brylanham
📅︎ Nov 24 2020
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What were Donald Trump’s COVID-19 test results?

Extremely positive. The most positive, in fact. Everybody’s talking about it. It’s yuuuge. Nobody’s seen anything like it. Sleepy joe never would’ve been able to pull this off.

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👤︎ u/taylor5479
📅︎ Oct 04 2020
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Why did the guy in the dad jeans get a COVID test?

Because he didn't have any taste

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👤︎ u/frontsign_mike
📅︎ Nov 25 2020
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Word on the street is, Cookie Monster has tested positive for COVID

It's the Om nom nom nomicron variant.

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👤︎ u/GoogleBetaTester
📅︎ Dec 23 2021
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I don’t trust these “ at-home” covid tests

I peed on it 3 times and still haven’t got results!

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👤︎ u/tab232
📅︎ Jan 12 2022
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Our best Olympic bobsledder tested positive for covid

Officials are going to let him slide

After checking the news, maybe I should rephrase this to let her slide

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👤︎ u/crow930
📅︎ Feb 04 2022
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Who doesn't need Covid testing?

Negative Nancy

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👤︎ u/zirtik
📅︎ Jan 03 2022
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Why did Dwayne Johnson’s family get tested for covid?

They couldn’t smell what the rock was cooking

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👤︎ u/OwenJthomas89
📅︎ Apr 01 2021
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When asked if we were interested in free Covid tests

I said sinus up!

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👤︎ u/Incognitj0e
📅︎ Sep 02 2021
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The Covid-19 vaccine should be tested on politicians first...

If they survive, the vaccine is safe.

If they don't, the country is safe.

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👤︎ u/VERBERD
📅︎ Nov 16 2020
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Petco has a new Covid vaccine for animals & humans. In tests, some people have reported excessive hair growth on their hands. I'm going to get it anyway...

but it does give me paws.

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👤︎ u/OK_Compooper
📅︎ Apr 13 2021
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I tested negative for Covid-19

So that’s positive

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👤︎ u/pistol-pete19
📅︎ May 21 2021
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The cast from Pulp Fiction tested positive with Covid after going camping together:

Tent in Quarantino

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👤︎ u/OiTheRolk
📅︎ Jan 20 2021
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John Travolta tested negative for covid last night.

turns out it was just Saturday Night Fever!

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👤︎ u/iloveoldmonk
📅︎ Feb 08 2021
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Trump tested positive for COVID-19

The news went viral.

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👤︎ u/sarcasticpremed
📅︎ Oct 02 2020
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Recently, the Kansas City Chiefs acted quickly and had to pull their team barber out mid-cut because they learned he tested positive for COVID.

Guess you could say that it was a close shave

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👤︎ u/zomgz0mbie
📅︎ Feb 05 2021
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So I tested positive for covid antibodies.

My dad wanted to know about my uncle-bodies.

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👤︎ u/Registered_Murse
📅︎ Oct 05 2020
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I just got word my ex wife was rushed to the ER and tested positive for COVID-19!

So I guess she wasn’t sick of me?

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👤︎ u/ah20250
📅︎ Apr 23 2020
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A genie appeared and told me he'd grant one wish. I said, "Ha! That's easy! I wish to score 100% on all my tests!"

Next morning, I tested positive for Covid.

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👤︎ u/Nakuzin
📅︎ Apr 13 2022
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If you don't like me...

You should get tested. One of the symptoms of covid is no taste.

I saw this somewhere yesterday and had to share.

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👤︎ u/spotted_sea
📅︎ Feb 10 2022
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Starting the new year positive!

I got my covid test yesterday

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👤︎ u/TheBirdGames
📅︎ Jan 01 2022
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Negative

True story, I work in the health industry, get to ask these questions from time to time:

Me: Good morning (of course no matter what time of day it is)! I have 4 questions for you, let’s see if you studied for the test...

Patient: (most of the time, chuckle)

Me: Have you had a fever in the last 48 hours?

Patient: No

Me: Have you had a persistent cough recently?

Patient: No

Me: Have you been tested for COVID-19 recently?

Patient (sometimes): Yes

Me: Do you know the results of the test?

Patient (about 85% of the time): Negative

Me: You don’t know the results of the test? (Straight face behind mask)

Patient: It was negative

Me: (smile and chuckle showing through mask)

Patient: Ohhhh! I get it! (Laughs 95% of the time)

Me: Dad jokes have to happen... 🙂

/insert question #4 here, unrelated to said joke... heh

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👤︎ u/cidici
📅︎ Apr 10 2021
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Why did Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson’s family get tested for COVID-19

They couldn’t smell what the rock was cooking.

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👤︎ u/potato_fish12
📅︎ Apr 01 2021
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