Covid Testing Puns

Negative Nancy

On the plus side my IQ test came back positive

…you have to poke your nose before you go to the Poconos.

He said he had a Saturday Night Fever.

It's the Om nom nom nomicron variant.

Would you please just let everything blow over first..

Edit/update:

First let me say that we fortunately weathered the storm well, some damage, not major.

I grew up with a humorous dad, and I appreciate how humor can alleviate stress. Most of you "got it", some of you didn't, some (few) were offended.

I grew up with a dad who taught me the appreciation of MAS*H where Hawkeye Pierce made jokes and quips in a horrible environment (war).

My dad even joked when he got Covid-19, a serious issue at his age, he first told me saying "I tested positive.. I'm pregnant"

That said I want to say Thank You to those that got it.

Riding out a hurricane is a scary and anxiety ridden experience. Each time you commented you made me smile, chuckle and sometimes laugh. It brought a bright spot to an otherwise scary night, if only for a moment it would take my mind off of the raging wind and rain at my door each of the hundreds of times my phone notification went off as this post "blew" up! I can only hope it did the same for others who appreciate humor the way that my dad taught me to.

Thanks r/dadjokes

Godspeed to those still battling this storm and those that will battle the results in the days and weeks to come.

As Jimmy Buffet once said "If we couldn't laugh we'd all go insane"

I peed on it 3 times and still haven’t got results!

He then asked the doctor if he passed. Doctor said no, but you will in a few days...

He was plaguearising.

"No, I always dress like this", I replied.

Officials are going to let him slide

After checking the news, maybe I should rephrase this to let her slide

They’re a nosey bunch, aren’t they.

They thought it was a bit tasteless.

They couldn’t smell what the rock was cooking

I said sinus up!

If they survive, the vaccine is safe.

If they don't, the country is safe.

Because he was COFFIN.

but it does give me paws.

Tent in Quarantino

So that’s positive

The news went viral.

Extremely positive. The most positive, in fact. Everybody’s talking about it. It’s yuuuge. Nobody’s seen anything like it. Sleepy joe never would’ve been able to pull this off.

Guess you could say that it was a close shave

My dad wanted to know about my uncle-bodies.

Because he didn't have any taste

So I guess she wasn’t sick of me?

Next morning, I tested positive for Covid.

You should get tested. One of the symptoms of covid is no taste.

I saw this somewhere yesterday and had to share.

I got my covid test yesterday

True story, I work in the health industry, get to ask these questions from time to time:

Me: Good morning (of course no matter what time of day it is)! I have 4 questions for you, let’s see if you studied for the test...

Patient: (most of the time, chuckle)

Me: Have you had a fever in the last 48 hours?

Patient: No

Me: Have you had a persistent cough recently?

Patient: No

Me: Have you been tested for COVID-19 recently?

Patient (sometimes): Yes

Me: Do you know the results of the test?

Patient (about 85% of the time): Negative

Me: You don’t know the results of the test? (Straight face behind mask)

Patient: It was negative

Me: (smile and chuckle showing through mask)

Patient: Ohhhh! I get it! (Laughs 95% of the time)

Me: Dad jokes have to happen... 🙂

/insert question #4 here, unrelated to said joke... heh

They couldn’t smell what the rock was cooking.

turns out it was just Saturday Night Fever!