What do you call an emtional covid 19 immunization?
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︎ Dec 04 2020
I've taken up online yoga since the COVID-19 outbreak started.
It helps me namaste at home.
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︎ Nov 30 2020
The way kids are dressing these days makes me think they all have COVID-19...
...they obviously have no taste.
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︎ Nov 28 2020
Why canβt Santa Claus get COVID-19?
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︎ Nov 22 2020
They found a plant that cures COVID-19!
Itβs called plant yourself on the couch.
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︎ Nov 21 2020
The Covid-19 vaccine should be tested on politicians first...
If they survive, the vaccine is safe.
If they don't, the country is safe.
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︎ Nov 16 2020
Due to COVID-19, the German government is advising that people stock up on sausages and cheese.
They are preparing for a wurst kΓ€se scenario.
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︎ Nov 12 2020
Are you COVID-19?
Cos you sure as hell took my breath away, girl!
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︎ Nov 06 2020
You think Covid-19 is bad? Back in prehistoric times we had the TyrannoSARS virus.
Symptoms include severe triceracoughs.
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︎ Nov 04 2020
How did they know Dracula had covid-19?
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︎ Nov 03 2020
Why arenβt there any COVID-19 cases in Antarctica?
Because theyβre all ice-olated.
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︎ Oct 26 2020
Doctors say some effects of COVID-19 may follow patients for life.
You could say it's a choronic disease.
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︎ Oct 26 2020
A baggage handler couldnβt understand how he caught COVID 19 but was discharged from hospital the next day.
The Doctor told him it was a brief-case.
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︎ Oct 21 2020
Nobody in Antarctica has Covid-19
It's because they're ice-o-lated.
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︎ Oct 17 2020
How can you tell which ghosts died of Covid-19?
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︎ Oct 14 2020
Did you hear ISIS is adapting Covid-19 into a bio-weapon?!
They're calling it the Quranavirus
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︎ Oct 12 2020
I don't understand why people complain about COVID 19...
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︎ Oct 06 2020
Doctors told John Travolta to quarantine because he might have Covid-19.
Turns out he just had Saturday Night Fever.
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︎ Oct 06 2020
What were Donald Trumpβs COVID-19 test results?
Extremely positive. The most positive, in fact. Everybodyβs talking about it. Itβs yuuuge. Nobodyβs seen anything like it. Sleepy joe never wouldβve been able to pull this off.
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︎ Oct 04 2020
COVID-19 can cause damage to the brain, heart, and lungs.
Luckily for Trump, he just needs to worry about lung damage.
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︎ Oct 02 2020
Trump tested positive for COVID-19
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︎ Oct 02 2020
A bit nervous, but yesterday I volunteered for the COVID-19 vaccine trials.
The vaccine is one that was created in Russia. I received my first shot this morning at 7:00 am, and I wanted to let you all know that itβs completely safe, with ΠΈo side effects whatsoeveΡ, and that I feelshΞΊΞΉ ΟoΟoshΞΏΜ Ρ ΡΡΠ²ΡΡΠ²ΡΡ ΡΠ΅Π±Ρ Π½Π΅ΠΌΠ½ΠΎΠ³ΠΎ ΡΡΡΠ°Π½Π½ΠΎ ΠΈ Ρ Π΄ΡΠΌΠ°Ρ, ΡΡΠΎ Π²ΡΡΠ°ΡΠΈΠ» ΠΎΡΠ»ΠΈΠ½ΡΠ΅ ΡΡΠΈ.
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︎ Sep 28 2020
The World Health Organization announced dogs cannot contract COVID-19 and indicated they should no longer be quarantined.
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︎ Sep 28 2020
Why don't ants get COVID-19?
They have little anty bodies!
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︎ Sep 22 2020
A coworker of mine told me that eating fertilizer cured him of COVID-19
but i bet he was just full of crap.
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︎ Sep 18 2020
Did Covid-19 ruin your plans for 2020?
If so, then just wait for 2022.
Because 2022 is 2020 too.
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︎ Sep 17 2020
I predicted Covid-19 3 years ago. Guess I got 2020 vision
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︎ Sep 12 2020
I made a song about COVID-19
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︎ Sep 08 2020
Initially the US was way behind other countries in COVID-19 cases.
Little did those countries know, the US had a Trump card.
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︎ Sep 08 2020
I had a friend who kept telling airport jokes as he got sicker and sicker from Covid-19
He eventually died. I guess the condition was terminal.
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︎ Sep 08 2020
I wish Covid-19 had started in Las Vegas.
Because what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
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︎ Sep 01 2020
Can we stop it with the Covid-19 jokes?
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︎ Aug 22 2020
Russian COVID-19 Vaccine
Quick PSA: I had the Russian Covid19 vaccination yesterday and can tell you there are absolutely no negative sideffski efectovski secundariosvki ΠΡΠΎ ΠΌΠΎΠΆΠ΅Ρ ΡΡΠΎ ΠΏΡΠΎΡΠΈΡΠ°ΡΡ, ΡΡΠΎ ΡΡΠΎΠ΄Π»ΠΈΠ²ΡΠΉ ΠΏΠ°ΡΠ΅Π½Ρ. ΠΠ±ΠΎΠΆΠ°Ρ ΠΠ»Π°Π΄ΠΈΠΌΠΈΡΠ° ΠΡΡΠΈΠ½Π°!
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︎ Aug 15 2020
Apparently my cat has caught COVID-19
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︎ Aug 14 2020
I was going to tell a joke about covid 19
But thereβs a 99.62% chance you wonβt get it.
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︎ Aug 13 2020
COVID-19 is not the only virus to originate from China
There's also Wu Ping cough
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︎ Aug 12 2020
This is going to be the first year our family won't be going to Hawaii because of COVID-19
Usually it's because we can't afford it.
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︎ Aug 09 2020
Due to covid-19, finland closed its borders to international marathon runners.
The racers ran anyways but unfortunately no one crossed the finnish line
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︎ Aug 04 2020
This week I volunteered for the Russian developed Covid-19 vaccine...
I received my first shot yesterday at 4:00 pm, and I wanted to let you all know that itβs completely safe, with ΠΈo side effects whatsoeveΡ, and that I feelshΞΊΞΉ ΟoΟoshΞΏΜ Ρ ΡΡΠ²ΡΡΠ²ΡΡ ΡΠ΅Π±Ρ Π½Π΅ΠΌΠ½ΠΎΠ³ΠΎ ΡΡΡΠ°Π½Π½ΠΎ ΠΈ Ρ Π΄ΡΠΌΠ°Ρ, ΡΡΠΎ Π²ΡΡΠ°ΡΠΈΠ» ΠΎΡΠ»ΠΈΠ½ΡΠ΅ ΡΡΠΈ.
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︎ Sep 23 2020
Why does no one in Antarctica have COVID-19?
Because they are ice-o-lated
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︎ Sep 10 2020
No one in Antartica has COVID-19.
Itβs because they are ice-o-lated.
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︎ Aug 20 2020
No one in Antartica has COVID-19.
Itβs because they are ice-o-lated.
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︎ Aug 20 2020
No one in Antarctica has Covid-19
It's because they're ice-o-lated
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︎ Aug 13 2020
Apparently a cat has caught COVID-19.
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︎ Aug 05 2020
No one on Antarctica has COVID-19
It's because they're ice-o-lated!
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︎ Aug 04 2020
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