Yesterday I ate our clock, it was very time consuming..
Especially when I went back for seconds
Why did consumer confidence in Apple products take a hit?
Because a few bad apples spoil the bunch.
When I was little I LOVED Pixar movies and I'd consume them daily...
At least until the day I was fed up.
I *finally* came up with a good joke about clocks
what the most anti consumer product?
What do you call a groups of large consumer company business executives in the month of June?
Michel Lotito had a strange ability to consume metal. He is said to have eaten an entire Cessna 150 light aircraft.
I imagine it would have tasted a little plane though
In honor of St. Patrick, if I break the world record for the most Irish stout consumed in a single day...
Would that be a Guinness Guinness record?
My wife asked for peace and quite while she cooked
So I turned the smoke detector off
A man was brought to the ER after having consumed $10,000 dollars in large bills. He was then sent to the ICU but,
You shouldn't eat watches.
A man orders some food at an international restaurant, but it’s difficult to chew and scratches up the inside of his mouth. He complains to the waiter that his food is painful to consume. The waiter replies:
“I’m sorry you don’t enjoy it sir. That’s one of our staple foods.”
Why was Han Solo crying as he consumed his last meal, having been captured by the Imperial Army?
Check it…… I consumed some hot peppers that ate out my insides.
Where do dogs go after they lose their tail?
A retail store.
Aaaannnd I'm out....
I tried to eat every clock, watch and hourglass in my house
I’m glad they take molasses out of white sugar while processing
Because I don’t like moles and certainly don’t want to consume their asses
Consumer reports rated silverware.
what did the seal with a missing arm say to the shark?
If Seal is broken do not consume
I just called up Gamestop consumer support.
They asked me to hold it.
HOW DOES A FILE CONSUME MEMORY,IN TERA-BITES😁
Why you should never read the clock?
Did you hear about the dangerous alcoholic who consumed his booze from a sizzling Chinese frying pan?
He liked to drink risky on the woks
My 10 yo came in and told me this one
Have you ever eaten a clock?
It’s very time consuming, especially when I went back for seconds.
I don’t like thyme cookies
They’re too thyme consuming
What's the downside to eating a clock?
A physicist, a chemist, and a statistician walk into an office to discover the trash can is on fire.
The physicist announces "We must put the garbage can in the fridge so that the temperature will be below the ignition temperature and therefore put itself out!"
The chemist replies "No, we must cover the garbage can so that the fire consumes all of the oxygen and, in the absence of reactants, can no longer continue!"
Meanwhile, the two turn around to find that the statistician is running around the room setting everything else on fire. "What the hell are you doing??"
"Getting a proper sample size!"
Why was was the unrepentant Roman who consumed his wife neither surprised nor scared when he was thrown into the Colosseum?
He was gladiator already.
My wife and I are dueling each other with Bridgerton jokes.
(For reference, the show's most iconic line is "I burn for you".)
It all started last night when I proposed we make butter. She thought that would be time-consuming, but I said I'd do it because "I churn for you."
She later retaliated by saying she was going to Switzerland because "I Bern for you".
I fired back that evening by rotating my body in bed. "I turn for you."
Just now she said we should take a pottery class. Then she laid it on me with "I urn for you".
But I was ready. "That sounds expensive, but don't worry - I earn for you."
So yeah countless villages have been ravaged and cities destroyed in our conquest. I'll keep you updated.
My doctor said that I might die because I accidentally consumed clay.
I'm shitting bricks to be honest.
I try and keep track of how much toffee I consume.
Do not consume if seal is broken
Yesterday, I ate a clock. It was very time consuming.
Especially when I went back for seconds!
Yesterday I ate a clock, it was very time consuming.
Especially when I went back for seconds.
Yesterday, I ate a clock. It was very time consuming.
Especially when I went back for seconds.
Yesterday I ate a clock it was very time consuming,
Especially when i went back for seconds.
I ate a clock today....
It was very time consuming.
I ate a wristwatch once.
It was very time consuming.
I ate a clock the other day.
It was very time consuming.
Have you ever tried to eat a clock?
It's very time consuming.
I ate a clock yesterday and it was very time consuming.
especially when I went for seconds
What did the seal with one fin say to the shark?
If seal is broken, do not consume.
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