Working on a home construction project and felt like relaxing with drink. Of course it's unsafe to mix alcohol with power tools.

Which is why I mixed my drink with a spoon instead.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BetterThanOP
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Wanna hear a construction joke?

I’m still working on it...

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/daddysbrat18
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s a construction workers favorite song?

Running With The Level!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LegendaryBroku
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
🚨︎ report
My two sons 5&8 are playing Minecraft this morning on survival. They are working hard together to build their mansion. I crossed the room in front of the TV to grab my phone as they are balanced high on a wall constructing a roof. My son screams out, β€œDad get out of the way!”

I said, β€œYou’re the ones blocking!”

πŸ‘︎ 16k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Colbosky
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a joke about construction...

But I’m still working on it.

Happy Cake Day to me. Hope y’all have a great day!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Wardenclyffe5
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
🚨︎ report
You can always give punk rock bands constructive criticism...

They appreciate feedback.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/watercolorfiddle
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What animal makes buildings?

Boa constructor

πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kgangadhar
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
🚨︎ report
Police report says someone was stealing rockwool from a construction site downtown.

Turns out it was an isolated incident.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Reddnvb
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I was having an argument about construction with someone on reddit.

He said he never had any issues with mis-calculations during construction on houses and I said that's impossible.

I told him in response about a time I put a post in the ground at a bad angle and had to take it out and put it back in correctly.

He got mad at me because he had heard the same exact story on r/construction

I guess you could call it a repost

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ReHawse
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
They said constructing viagras office building to be shaped like a penis would be difficult

But I didn’t expect it to be that hard

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Paradigm_Shiftz
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
🚨︎ report
A construction worker goes to a fancy restaurant and his a dress code problem.

The man goes into the fancy restaurant and have a discussion with the host:

Host Sir, you cannot come in here with out a belt. We have standards.

The man goes out to his car and puts on a belt fashioned out of some rope. He goes back in.

Host Alright.... I guess you have a belt....You still need a jacket.

The man goes back out to his car and fishes out a jacket his wore to a wedding a year ago. He shares it off, brushes it with his hand, and puts it on.

Host Ok. You still need a tie. It is required.

The man goes out to his car. He doesn't have a tie. He puts on jumper cables and makes a perfect Windsor knot.

Host You have a belt and a jacket. I guess you have a tie.

Just don't try to start something....

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WinnieTheEeyore
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the near sighted construction worker who lost his glasses?

He really fell into his work.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lvrcerosis
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I didn't know my dad stole from construction sites, but...

When I got home, all the signs were there

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/studentadvisor101
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
🚨︎ report
If plumbers have plumbers crack what do construction workers have?

Asphalt (My dads been telling this one since I was 12, never heard it anywhere else πŸ˜‚)

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MisterGriimm
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Would you like to hear a construction joke?

[Yes]Β  Well I’m still working on it.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theredditman111
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
🚨︎ report
The project to restore Big Ben was a bit behind schedule, so the construction company put on a third shift...

Men are now working around the clock.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
🚨︎ report
The sporting goods store downtown was having a big sale on canoe paddles, but traffic and road construction made it real pain to get there...

...yeah, it was quite the ordeal to get the oar deal.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.

But when I got home, all the signs were there.

πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Papa_G_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Soon just got me without this one: "Hey Dad, want to hear a construction joke?"

Give me a second I'm still working on it.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wheezy360
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
🚨︎ report
Big Ben Currently Under Construction (From r/funny)
πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a mobile home for mentally insane horses?

Unstable.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LATROPSP
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I watched a show about construction

It was riveting

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Adorm_Snormp
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
🚨︎ report
First post
πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the new dating site that matches women up with construction workers?

It's called Studfinder.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VomitingPotato
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
🚨︎ report
How does construction workers party ?

They raise the roof.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/masprocas
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Even Ferdinand Feghoot could be outpunned on occasion – but he always rose to the challenge.

There was, for instance, the time he conducted a crew of new S.A.R.H. (Society for the Aesthetic Rearrangement of History -BJ) recruits – all from late twentieth-century Terra – on a training study of Carter’s World, a newly established agricultural colony attempting to support itself by the export of edible nuts. Barely into their second generation, and having yet to show a profit, the colonists were technologically backward. Nevertheless, they showed a surprising ingenuity in the use of their few advantages. It was this resourcefulness that Feghoot was demonstrating to his rookies.

β€œLook at the perfection with which these streets are graded”, exclaimed one student. β€œEarth-moving machinery on this scale is strictly high technology stuff. How can they do it?”

β€œA new alleyway is being constructed, nearby”, said Feghoot. β€œLet us walk that way while I explain.” As they strolled, he told his students that countless centuries before, the Carter’s World system had been inhabited by a now-vanished race of giants. This very planet had served them for a nursery, and among the many artifacts they had left were thousands of childrens blocks, immense and precision-cut. You simply jack one up onto logs, bring it where you want it, put collapsible jacks underneath, snake out the logs, spread soil more or less evenly beneath, and collapse the jacks.

β€œI see”, said the student. β€œIt’s not graded road at all; its a simple hammered-earth base.”

β€œThat’s right,” Feghoot went on smoothly. β€œYou just hit the road jack and don’t come back no mo.”

His students registered dismay and anguish.

β€œIsn’t that right, old-timer?,” Feghoot demanded of an ancient Carterian standing by the mouth of the newly completed alley they had just reached.

β€œAhm afraid not, suh”, said the senior citizen, and the students giggled at Feghoots discomfiture. β€œOh, we used to do it that way, but it was far too much trouble. It’s the soil heah. You see, the very same soil which produced our famous cashews is so high in clay content that a child could roll out a road of it. Then, we simply use a system of lenses to bake it into hardness. Ahve just completed this alley mahself, and ahm just a retired professor of Sports History, much too old and feeble to handle hydraulic jacks.

β€œSo you see,” he finished, eyes twinkling, β€œMah hammered alley is really cashews clay.”

Howls of agony rose from the students, but Feghoot never hesitated. β€œAnd he”, he said, turning to his students, β€œis clearly the gradi

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nomnommish
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
🚨︎ report
Construction Dadjoke: Our Sewage Treatment Plant supplier is missing

In his last email he said "I remain at your disposal for any concerns".

Couldn't find him there this morning. I hope he's ok.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/andrei178
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
🚨︎ report
For the past few days, I wake up to see someone has dumped a bunch of LEGO blocks on my front porch.

I don’t know what to make of it.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
🚨︎ report
The pharaoh promised workers they would be rich if they bought into his MLM construction plan.

It was the very first pyramid scheme.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What was that joke I was going to say about construction?

Man, I gotta work on that...

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I couldn’t believe my son when he said he got fired from a road construction company for theft.

But, when I got home all the signs were there.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Para__Digm
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I was helping my dad with construction he told me to get the hammer but I accidentally gave him the drill

He said I could have nailed it, but I screwed up

πŸ‘︎ 76
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WhoIsPharoah17
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Which country is best at construction?

U-crane

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yashrajt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a joke about construction

I would tell you but I’m still working on it

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GLIZZYGOD999
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I've got a great joke about construction,

But I'm still working on it

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AxtonGTV
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Want to hear my joke about construction?

Never mind, I’m still working on it

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/boi771
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you wanna hear a joke about construction

Never mind I’m still working on it

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AshamedTurtwig
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
You wanna hear a joke about construction

Nevermind I'm still working on it.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Julius1506
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I've got a great joke about construction

but I'm still working on it

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LucianoMercuri__
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Have you heard the joke about construction?

Ah, I'm still working on it.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wendru
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a joke about construction.

I'm working on it.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RebekhaG
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Want to hear a joke about Construction?

I'm still working on it.

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jojoboy389
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it...

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dani_SF
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Want to hear a construction joke?

Sorry I am still working on it

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yashrajt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I've got a great joke about construction

But I'm still working on it

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lacsantos91
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Want to hear a joke about construction?

I’m still working on it!

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AndreT_NY
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I had a joke about construction...

...but I'm still working on it.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/breadwalsushi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Wanna hear a joke about construction?

Wait, I’m still working on it.

πŸ‘︎ 165
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/conditackler
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.