Confusedly Puns

Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese Mafia

Yeti never complains.

Paint yourself green and throw spoons at them

You buy the one that sucks the most

Because all his uncles were ants.

Croc-a-doodle-doo

I said "Because you're Russian me."

that way you won't take any fall damage.

Stop living in de nile

He wondered, what happened to the man in the mirror?

I was born with mine

Uuh

"...mountains peak!"

My answer was spot on, upon being asked to give an example on a "Business being completely ruined due to carelessness" All I said was... "A Pregnant Prostitute"

I'd never met herbivore

He drinks straight from the bottle.

I’d be like, where the fuck do all these nickels keep coming from?

Toilet paper math (20=46)

But as they say, 'tis the season

Turkey says "blulululu awesome, bring me a Kevin!"

There would be mass confusion

He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patty Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says, "It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

She said: “My anaconda don’t want none unless it has buns, hun”

Me: "Hi confused, I'm Mom"

It’s just a mythunderstanding.

Because there were so many mummies.

and not ?

All you need is a P and A

I've just used an old discount card I found in my wallet, but I only got 20% off....

He rasped, "Cuz they’re still alive!"

Now, I have completely lost my Focus.

"I don't know, bud, what?"

"Your legs."

Well done, kid.

Yeti never complains... 🤔

Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese mafia.

but now, I'm not so sure

Now I'm in hot water with the japanese mafia.

...Yetti never complains.

Yeti never complains.

It’s abominable...

Yeti never complains...