Punstoppable
A list of puns related to "Confessing"
admitting it is the first step in a nude erection
but I'm clean now. 🧼
I finally received my abs solution.
...I should have known, since he was wearing Mock-a-sins.
He says to the priest, "Forgive me Father, for I have sined."
He really needed to get that off his chest.
I’ve really been opposed to beards in the past because I don’t like how they look. But because of laziness, I now have a beard. And to be honest, it’s really grown on me
I, for one, like Roman numerals.
The priest was already heading home, having finished his scheduled hour of confessions. He told the man, “I pray that you are not going to do a confession today.”
The man replied, “I confess Father. No.”
Melatonin.
It was touch and go from there on.
He talked with a rasp.
"Then I was born.”
my soda is still not saying something
I can't help it! I get to the store and I have to take a leek!
Because she lived in the Nile
Will keep you guys posted.
I told him he needed to get help.
Things had obviously gotten out of hand.
The criminal has to write their wrongs.
Didn't see that one coming
...the Hokey Pokey, but I turned myself around.
But I’m sticking to my guns.
“I’m clean now.”
Hey guys. As I'm sure most of you know, it's currently Thanksgiving in Canada. This time of year for me has, in the past, caused a lot of issues in my life.
To give a little bit of background on me, I'm usually an extremely healthy and fit guy, as I play high-level sports and have a physically demanding job. However, for much of my life, my willpower began to crumble around this time of year.
I first started taking my diet seriously when I was about 12 years old. I had some kind of realization where like, I dunno, I started looking at how jacked these movie stars were and was all, "wow, I want to be that cool too." Judging by the bowl cut I had when I was 12, my perception of cool may have been a little skewed, but I digress.
Anyhow, it was my first Thanksgiving where everything started falling apart. One of my relative's families ended up no-showing for dinner, so we were left with a load of Thanksgiving leftovers. For the next week, every single meal or snack I had was Thanksgiving themed. Sandwich? Turkey sandwich. Breakfast? Let's dollop some cranberry sauce on that bad boy. By the next week, my BGC (blood gravy content) was probably at like 1.0%.
You'd think I'd be sick of holiday food after that. But no. I loved it.
The tradition of refrigerated Thanksgiving snacks continued throughout the rest of my teen years. Like clockwork, the numbers on the scale would significantly jump upwards in October, with Halloween candy adding an extra layer of calories on top. By the time I reached 17, my waist had begun noticeably ballooning, and I realized it was all due to Thanksgiving turkey. Sure, I had some at Christmas and sometimes at Easter, but never like that. My mother would encourage this habit, making more food each year to be stuffed into our packed refrigerator.
The movie star bod I wanted for so much at the age of 12 was slipping a way. I needed to put an end to this.
Flash forward to October 2015, age 18. I had made a vow: I never again would place such putrid poultry onto my tastebuds. And ever since that fateful week of 2014, my vow had held true.
Each Thanksgiving, I can feel that craving for chilled turkey knocking on the refrigerator door of my fragile ego. For three years, I've held strong. But when will the garrison fall? When will that soft, biting flesh of the big bird smash it's way back into my life.
But so far, I've quit cold turkey.
I said, “Are you f*cking nuts?”
I guess you could call me a Professor.
She followed me out to the deck, and I confessed to her that I have been smoking grass.
He had to get it off his chest
I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm slowly getting over it.
Hose B.
I was putting on my pants, I explained. I was covering up my legs.
I guess you could say, I drink to spaghett.
It was a blessing in disguise!
Oooops. Wrong USB.
It’s his altar ego
Pew pew pew
admitting it is the first step in a nude erection
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