"I'm so sorry, my dog ate my homework." Rolling his eyes, my computer science professor shot back, "Really?! Your dog ate your coding assignment?"

"Well, to be perfectly honest, it did take him a couple bytes."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
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My daughter asked me if she should go for computer science or psychology

I told her that whatever she chooses, it's going to be a major difference.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Snoopy007AS
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
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My computer science book has one at the bottom of every page
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tempsilon
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2019
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Pun about computer

I am learning how to Excel in spreadsheets in my computer science class

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
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Where do Computer Science Majors go to learn Python?

Amazon.com

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PyrosEnjoyPieHW2
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2016
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MIT's Computer Science PhD application only accepts text files. That's really ASCII a lot, in my opinion.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/markjamesyork
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2016
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What degree are you going for?

My first degree is computer science, but I'm also going for second degree murder

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FabuPineapple
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
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Discussing dog training

Sister: We really need to send the dog to puppy school

Me: To what, earn his dogtorate?

Hehe...

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/magicbakingpowder
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2016
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Science joke build up

I work as a salesman in a call center. We were going over some of the more interesting names we’ve seen and called. Without disclosing the last name my neighbor said oh, you haven’t heard of β€œCytoplasm XXXXXXX”? I answered. The guy is a computer programmer who I’d imagine changed his name to that unless his parents are that cruel. I start rambling off β€œCytoplasm?? Of all the organelles in a eukaryotic cell to name yourself you pick cytoplasm?! What about Golgi apparatus, or endoplasmic reticulum?” My manager chimes in β€œwow you memorized a lot from bio” I told her I went to college for science shit but β€œnow here I am making phone calls as a professional, thanks college” to which my neighbor replies.... β€œI guess now you could say you’re a PROkaryote

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fly_MartinZ
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2018
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Science Puns

One of the funniest school puns; science puns

Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK. If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.


The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.


If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.


A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, β€œNo, I’m traveling light.”


Did you just mutate for a stop codon? Because you’re talking nonsense!


How did the English major define microtome on his biology exam? An itsy bitsy book.


What did Gregor Mendel say when he founded genetics? Woopea!


Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He’s 0K now.


I wish I was adenine, then, I could get paired with U.


Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na


Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says β€œI think I’ll have an H2O.” The second one says β€œI think I’ll have an H2O too” β€” and he died.


A couple of biologists had twins. They named one Jessica and the other Control.


Did you hear the one about the recycling triplets? Their names are Polly, Ethel, and Ian.


Why can you never trust atoms? They make up everything!


What element is a girl’s future best friend? Carbon.


I had to make these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.


Why are chemists great for solving problems? They have all the solutions.


What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.


What did the male stamen say to the female pistil? I like your β€œstyle.”


I’m reading a great book on anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.


I have a new theory on inertia but it doesn’t seem to be gaining momentum.


Why can’t atheists solve exponential equations? Because they don’t believe in higher powers.


Schrodinger’s cat walks into a bar. And doesn’t.


Do you know the name Pavlov? It rings a bell.


What does a subatomic duck say? Quark!


A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a beer. Bartender replies β€œFor you, no charge”.


Two atoms are walking along. One of them says: β€œOh, no, I think I lost an electron.” β€œAre you sure?”

β€œYe

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2017
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Professor told a joke worthy of this subreddit today.

In my computer science course, my very old professor busts this out during a discussion of logic:

"I went to a logic conference once, and the lecturer said, 'it's interesting that a double negative gives you a positive, isn't it? I mean, a double positive doesn't give you a negative.'

Someone from the back of the room scoffed and went, 'yeah, yeah.'"

Half the class chuckled, half the class groaned.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KrimsonAce
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2013
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Got my friend with a Microsoft joke in class

Text conversation between me and my friend in my computer science class while we are doing an excel spreadsheet.

My friend: Hey I really messed up this spreadsheet can you send it to me when you're finished? Me: Yeah sure if I ever finish it haha. My friend: Word thanks Me: No this is Excel.

I could hear her groan from across the room.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/smbfcc
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2016
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Hall monitors...

The other day, my 2 year old son and I went to visit my dad at his new job as a college teacher. As he was giving us a tour, we stopped by the office of the computer science professor to chat. My son saw some computer monitors on the floor in his office and asked "what's that?" To which the computer professor, who is a grandpa himself, replied "those are monitors. Maybe I should set them outside my door, then they'd be HALL monitors!" We three dad's got a good chuckle out of that. My toddler, not so much.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryguy1984
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2015
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I said to my computer science professor that my dog ate my homework.

When he doubted me, I said, "Well, it took him a couple of bytes."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JDogg323
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
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My dog ate my computer science homework

It took him a couple of bytes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/patmcheese
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
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