I heard the NFL is supporting Colin Kaepernick.

I'm glad they are giving him the support he kneeds.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wspoons5
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
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Semi-Colin
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πŸ‘€︎ u/din7
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2016
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6 years ago today on my birthday. The Baltimore Ravens have won two Super Bowls, both on February 3rd. All a Baltimore boy would like for his cake day is some purple fever! I believe #20 intercepted Colin's ball hence "Ed Reads". I crack myself up.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/717to321
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2019
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Not mine, but from Colin Mochrie in Whose Line Is It Anyway

β€œFamous Playboy Hugh Hefner managed to successfully stop an order of monks from operating a business on his property. The police forced the friars to close down their stall, which was outside the Playboy mansion where they had been selling flowers. Said one friar, well, if it was anyone else we may have gotten away from it, but, unfortunately, only Hugh can prevent florist friars.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/macrian
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
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One of my favorite Colin Mochrie puns

"Our main story tonight is about a 100 year old woman who says her secret to old age is walking around barefoot and never brushing her teeth. More news on this super calloused fragile mistress hexed with halitosis after the break."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoctorNoname98
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2014
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What comes before Colin Fthecond?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scratchie_Chan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2017
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My wife's celebrity crush is Colin Firth...

...I said, "What about Colin Thecond?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rabidmilkman
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2016
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I guess you could say Colin Kaepernick can't stand what's going on in this country
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πŸ‘€︎ u/greengrasser11
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2018
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Mom: Where'd you park, Colin?

Dad: We didn't park Colin, he's right here.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tbrushwyler
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2014
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Was having a conversation with my Dad about Colin Kaepernick..

Dad: You know, he wasn't really standing up for what he believed in.

Me: What?

Dad: He was sitting down for what he believed in!

massive eye roll

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WeGottaGoFast1138
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2016
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Tropical Storm Colin is soaking the coast...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sixmilesoldier
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2016
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He gave the toy horses a home in his ___
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πŸ‘€︎ u/7keletor
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
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Did you hear about the guy who fell into the upholstery machine?

He’s fully recovered now.

(Credit to Colin Mochrie)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/I_am_pale
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2021
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"Never buy flowers from a monk", Smokey the Bear said.

Only you can prevent florist friars.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jack_Forrest
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2019
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What do you call it when you strike a cow with a snow globe?

A Knick-nack patty whack

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
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Did you hear about the man who beat his friend with a stolen trinket in the rice fields?

Apparently, it was the first ever case of a knick-knack-paddy-whack.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Asian_dodo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
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Why did the mad scientist deliberately create a huge fire tornado?

Some people just want to watch the whirled burn.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2017
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A gangster recently plead guilty for beating a cow to death in a rice field using two porcelain figures.

Authorities say it’s the first first time they’ve ever dealt with a knick knack patty wack.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Adamkm92
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2018
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A dog used lived in a clay-brick house but was evicted for not paying his mortgage..

A Dobie's adobe abode owed dough.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alfie_13
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2018
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Church School

Sally was at Sunday school, when she fell asleep. The teacher realizes this and says, β€œSally who is the creator of life?” Her friend, Colin, who sat behind her. Poked her with a needle to wake her up. She wakes with a jump and yells, β€œGOD ALMIGHTY” The teacher responds, β€œVery good Sally.” Soon later, Sally falls back asleep. The teacher, again notices and says to her, β€œSally who is our savior?” Colin again, pokes her with a needle. Sally jumps up and yells, β€œJESUS CHRIST!” The teacher responds, β€œVery good.” For a third time Sally falls asleep. The teacher, having enough of it, asked, β€œSally, what did Eve say to Adam after they had their 17th child?.” Colin again, pokes Sally with a needle to wake her up. She jumps up and yells, β€œI SWEAR TO GOD, if you shove that thing in me one more time, I’m going to rip it from you, and shove up your throat!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NashYaBoi
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2019
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A man was sueing an airline for misplacing his luggage.

Unfortunately he lost his case

Source: Colin mochrie in whose line is it anyway

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zero212
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
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A friend told me this one today

Some monks set up a cart and began selling flowers for funerals in front of an Irish Catholic church. The bishop was displeased as selling funeral arrangements was a source of revenue for the church so he hired his very large friend Hugh McWIlliams to chase them away. For weeks Hugh stood guard and the monks didn't return until the bishop decided that the matter was resolved and relieved Hugh of his duty. The very next day the monks returned with their cart of flowers and it was at this point the bishop realized: only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Odhrain
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2013
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Got dadjoked at a concert last night

So Colin Hay (from Men at Work) is on stage singing some great songs. Just him and a guitar. Someone yells "You fucking rock!"

Colin Hay responds "Tonight I'm doing more folking than rocking. I will folk you hard."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FlyingSaucered
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2015
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My favorite quote from Colin Mochrie

Famous Playboy Hugh Hefner managed to successfully stop an order of monks from operating a business on his property. The police forced the Friars to close down their stall which was outside the mansion where they had been selling flowers. Said one Friar, "Well if it was anyone else we might have gotten away from it, but unfortunately only Hugh can prevent florist Friars".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BabiesOnQuack
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2014
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Why did Hugh Jackman punch a monk selling flowers?

Because only Hugh can prevent florist friars

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iamcalifornia
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2021
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